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Author Topic: Is Love a disease?  (Read 11334 times)
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Lopson
 

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« on: 2006-06-17, 01:09 »

OK. A person falls in love with another, yeii for him/her. Now what I've been thinking is: Do you think that love is a pschycological problem? Do you see love as a disturbing in one person's mind? Or do you see it as just a sentiment? Of course that by asking this, I could also ask you: Are feelings a disturbing in the minds of people?

I cannot post an answer because I still seek an answer.
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Kajet
 

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« Reply #1 on: 2006-06-17, 04:59 »

*sigh* i can't really give a great opinion but... the thing about love is that one way or the other there will be some suckage involved... you either get an unrequited love kind of situation witch blows, or things between you and your loved one just isn't always perfect.

but a disease? i'm gonna say no... it's more of an emotional condition not nessicarily a good or bad situation, but something disruptive to life, if you consider lonliness a lack of love for anyone else.

Disturbing? i'll say no, but the things that can/are done for love could be.

I know i'm vauge however i think that love is a bit more situational than that.
And as a bitter lonesome being i must say that love freaking blows sometimes.
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Tabun
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« Reply #2 on: 2006-06-17, 09:55 »

Here's my view of it:
Love is an efficient way to make (sufficiently) intelligent creatures procreate. A way for them to 'fall back on instinct', if you will. It's wonderful, because it feels good (if it didn't, it would merely be a stressful, depressing force, hindering one's ability to get busy and to beat others to the punch). It's hell, because it necessarily overrides 'default' emotions and thought; for some it becomes the thing their lives (momentarily) revolve around, this can obviously be a disruptive experience.

Now, the use of words like 'problem', 'disturbed' and 'disease' doesn't sit right with me. They suggest that a healthy/higher process is being hindered by an unhealty/lower one, or something like that. I see no difference between 'healty' and 'unhealthy' here. Craving chocolate is just as 'disturbing', much like the pleasure (and pain) some get from playing videogames. Those are to me all ways of dealing with life. For instance, some forms of MPD develop in a person to allow them to survive immensely crippling conditions. Still, it's called a disorder, because in the average situation the costs of it outweigh the benefits. However, in such a case it is a lot healthier than a total breakdown. These are shaky examples ofcourse, but I won't pretend to be a shrink, I'm just questioning your phrasing. ;]
« Last Edit: 2006-06-17, 16:00 by Tabun » Logged

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Lopson
 

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« Reply #3 on: 2006-06-17, 11:12 »

Bah, the lack of vocabulary can confuse other people.
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Woodsman
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« Reply #4 on: 2006-06-17, 14:27 »

Oh god yes love is a freaking virus. Love is for the weak! the weeeeaaaaak!!!!
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Phoenix
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« Reply #5 on: 2006-06-17, 21:28 »

Love is a holy thing, it is a gift from God, wherein two creatures can share the joy of their togetherness, their company, their oneness.  Instead of isolation, you have closeness.  Instead of pain, you have comfort.  That this can extend into the act of bringing another life into this world is the culmination of this expression of love.  God created us to love us, and gave us the gift of being able to take part and play a role in the creation of life.  The reason man finds it so confusing is that man is a fallen creature and confuses love with lust, and replaces selfless love with selfish greed.

I have loved the same female since I can remember, and she me.  We have nothing of mating, or even physical contact that any of you can have with someone else, yet we remain together entirely in spirit.  We have a pure love.  Pure love is of the spirit, and is a bond that can transcend time, and space, and weather the test of ages.  Pure love is giving, and never asking, and is understanding in all things.  It is humble, and never proud.  It is honest.  I do not feel this to be confusing, or damaging, or undesirable in any way.  If this is what you would call a psychological illness, or a form of madness, then I embrace it entirely.  I would rather be insane, and love my mate with all my being, than to be any other way.

I think those who are confused by love are either afraid of it, or simply do not understand it because man tries to complicate it, or to explain it, or even to dismiss it.  It is not something that needs to be explained, only to be experienced.  Love is simple.  Life is not.  Where people fail is in perverting love into what it isn't.  Love is not the problems one encounters in a marriage, or in a family.  Those arise from selfishness, or the outside pressures of life, and a failure to listen.  Where marriages fail is when people put themselves above the marriage.  Selfishness cannot coexist easily with love, because love at its root is concern for the wellbeing of another.  If what you want for yourself is more important to you than the wellbeing and needs of your prospective mate, then you are doomed to fail.  The same applies to your prospective mate.  If he or she is selfish and wanting, then again, it will be doomed.  Where love flourishes is in mutuality, where both care more for each other than for themselves.  If love is confusing you, ask yourself, is it really love that is the problem, or is it people's behavior that is the true cause for concern?

Regarding feelings in general, feelings are natural, and are a part of every creature.  You should not deny your feelings;  that is self-delusion.  If you feel something, acknowledge the feeling.  There is no right or wrong feeling, only right or wrong action.  If you hate something, admit to yourself that you hate, and then you can examine why you feel as you do.  Acknowledge anger when you're angry, so you know it as anger, and can act appropriately.  Acknowledge fear as fear, so you know that you are in danger, and so that the fear does not control you when you need courage.  Remember, animals who fear danger are wise enough to avoid it, but courage is sometimes needed too.  Acknowledge love if you feel love, so you can know the joys of love.  If the person you feel love toward shares this love in turn, then be content with it.  If you dislike the person, and the feeling leaves you uncomfortable, perhaps it is not love that is the source of this feeling.  If it is lust you feel, recognize it as such, so you can avoid sin.

God made us to feel, the same as we are made to eat, and sleep.  It is nothing to be ashamed of to feel one emotion or another, it is part of what we are.
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Tabun
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« Reply #6 on: 2006-06-17, 21:44 »

Quote
Regarding feelings in general, feelings are natural, and are a part of every creature. You should not deny your feelings; that is self-delusion. If you feel something, acknowledge the feeling. There is no right or wrong feeling, only right or wrong action.

That is about the only bit I fully agree with in that post. If we'd posted the other way around, I would have stolen it and inserted it in my own. ;]
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« Reply #7 on: 2006-06-17, 22:09 »

were you all out taking a whiz when they taught shakespear in school?! love makes fools of us all! fools!
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Kajet
 

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« Reply #8 on: 2006-06-18, 06:32 »

Sad thing is all three of you can be right depending on the situation, love can be the greatest thing of all, a temporary thing, or the most idiotic thing one can be associated with.

I say depending on the situation cause love and lust can be hard to differentiate sometimes i mean if you desire to pass on your genetics with one person enough you will do/feel things that emulate love, and as i said there are times when the person doesn't love you or the other way around (still either way it blows unless you're a manipulative asshole)

As for true love... lemme put it this way I don't talk about people i haven't dealt with, and i don't give opinion on things i haven't experienced.
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Lopson
 

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« Reply #9 on: 2006-06-18, 15:48 »

Ah, the joys of being a nerd...
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scalliano
 

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« Reply #10 on: 2006-06-18, 23:53 »

Love may be a disease, it's just a shame it isn't contagious. <3
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Kajet
 

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« Reply #11 on: 2006-06-19, 02:50 »

Quote from: scalliano
Love may be a disease, it's just a shame it isn't contagious. <3
yep, just like tourettes syndrome
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Phoenix
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« Reply #12 on: 2006-06-19, 04:55 »

Tab, I'm sorry you choose to see things that way, but I expect we'll always disagree on this, well at least until God changes your mind about it someday. Slipgate - Smile

Scal:  If it were only so simple, but people have to be free to choose to love, or to choose against it.  Sadly, more often than not, I have observed people choose against it, because people are selfish needy, and prideful.  It saddens me, but it is still their choice to make.  Those who do choose to love openly and honestly are like precious gems, both rare and valuable.  I wish people would learn from their example instead of continually repeating the same mistakes generation after generation.
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Tabun
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« Reply #13 on: 2006-06-19, 06:15 »

I don't see any need for sorry-ness, Pho. I'm not missing anything that I'm 'free to choose'. I don't feel the need for mysticism, and I do experience and enjoy love and affection for friends, family and the odd partner (ofcourse, anyone could interrupt me here and say "well, Tab, that's not true love!", but they obviously can babble all they want - my pink elephant disagrees). It is rewarding, enjoyable and sometimes very painful -- and fits right in there with the rest of life, making it a rather thrilling ride. One thing I most definately am not ruling out, is finding a 'perfect match' or a 'soul mate' (although not in any mystical sense), and I won't and wouldn't downplay or avoid the value and beauty such a bond.

I'd rather people would not do me the dishonour of feeling sorry for me over one belief issue or another. In a more jocular response: .. at least until Allah convinces me that I should be killing you in your sleep! Slipgate - Wink
« Last Edit: 2006-06-19, 06:30 by Tabun » Logged

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« Reply #14 on: 2006-06-19, 07:41 »

Of course you experience it, and I would not denigrate your experiences by saying they are not valid.  I'm glad you leave open the possibility of finding a perfect mate for you.  I think it's possible for anyone, and I hate it when I see people just "settling" for someone because they feel they can't do better.

As for being sorry, I feel as I feel not because I seek to belittle anyone, only that there is no way for me to transfer my own experiences so that others can know what I know.  I wish that others could have this same kind of love.  Naturally I will feel sorry that I cannot share this understanding.  If you had the greatest treasure, would you not desire those you care about to have their own treasure, and that it be as great as yours?
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Tabun
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« Reply #15 on: 2006-06-19, 15:25 »

Only because that implies that the treasures they have are implicitly suggested to be likely lesser in comparison (especially when they are contradictory in their natures). I do assume that's not the case here, but that always seems to be my first interpretation..
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« Reply #16 on: 2006-06-19, 16:01 »

I'd be a liar if I said I thought my treasure was not the most wonderful thing in all of creation.  Should not all beings think such of their mates?  And I know she deserves no less, and certainly much more than I could ever give.  Yet, for all my faults she sees what is good in me.  She is the warm sun that brightens my day, and the gentle flame that brings light to the darkness in my soul and chases away the shadows of all my fear.  She buries my seed of doubt, and hope springs forth to grow in its place.  When I could see only the worst of myself, she taught me what is best in myself.  She taught me how to love myself, and the value of all things in life.  Through her I learned how to forgive myself, and how love, patience, and compassion can undo hatred, anger, and the lust for vengeance.  Through her love, I learned my own value, after I had fallen into darkness.  She showed me the way back to the light, back to God.  When I thought even God had abandoned me for my wickedness, she never abandoned me.  If she has any faults of her own, then I am blind to them, save that she chose me as her mate, and not a creature more deserving.  Though we are linked, bonded spiritually in a way I cannot describe, she could still have chosen to reject me.

It's that kind of closeness I wish for others to have for their mates.  My hope is to raise others up, not to tear them down.  If I think what I have is more valuable, it does not mean I think others are undeserving of the same in their lives.  I do not judge them for what they have, I only hope it can grow into something greater.  When one plants a seed, does one cut down a tree in jealousy for it being greater than the seed, or do they water the seed in hopes it will grow?  Is compassion, and the desire to see goodness and fortune flourish in the lives of others now counted as insult?  If any take offense at my hope, I cannot be held accountable for ill feelings of others simply for my bearing them goodwill, nor will I ever apoligize for thinking highly of my mate and the love we share.

I bare my soul to you here, it is not an action I take lightly and certainly not something I do as a matter of course.  I expect you understand I consider this matter of great import, and not merely a subject of casual discussion.  To me, there is no power in this universe greater than that of love, and no matter more important.
« Last Edit: 2006-06-19, 16:02 by Phoenix » Logged


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shambler
 
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« Reply #17 on: 2006-06-19, 17:22 »

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels,
but have not love,
I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

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Tabun
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« Reply #18 on: 2006-06-19, 17:26 »

I cannot put myself in your position, so I will not try to make claims about what love is (for you). For me, it is equal or less to a bigger and more personal striving in my life. If I believed in a soul, this would be what was in its core for me: to face that which I believe to be reality, not taking recourse in dreams or metafysical assumptions, until after I believe that I have felt the bare nothingness of panpragmatism, darwinism, nihilism (call it what you will) and all that it implies. To embrace nihilism without losing myself to indifference to it, but to confront it fully nonetheless. I don't believe there is an 'end' to that path, but that is part of the problem of facing it. I guess you could compare it to a mountaineer's climbing the Everest -- at least as far as that can be a honest/prideless struggle.

That's shoddily put, but you'll get the gist of it.
« Last Edit: 2006-06-19, 17:30 by Tabun » Logged

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« Reply #19 on: 2006-06-19, 21:19 »

When God was asked what He was, His reply was simply "I Am that I Am."  It was a sovereign title, but more importantly, a simple yet powerful declaration.  Pure existence, "I Am."  It is entirely simple, yet you can drive yourself mad trying to wrap your mind around it.  This declaration is the antithesis of nihilism, long before nihilism was invented as a philosophy of modern thinking.  You can see why the two can never be in agreement.  However, if you wish to contemplate the futility of existence, I might invite you to read the book of Ecclesiastes.  You might find some wisdom there, or at least, you may find that there is nothing new under the sun.
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