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Author Topic: ZOMBIES?!?  (Read 7363 times)
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Phoenix
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« on: 2007-10-27, 20:28 »

Quote
A US police chief has stockpiled chainsaws - in case his city is invaded by zombies.

Police lieutenant Bruce Ferguson says his team are ready for any attack on Lansing, Michigan.

"We have been doing mock disasters and cross training for several years," he told the Lansing State Journal.

"People can feel confident, if zombies start invading, we'll know how to close the streets. We can get chainsaws too.

"If a swarm comes in on I-496 westbound, we'll block off the exits so they miss the city."
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2569823.html?menu=

Ok... why the sporking hell is the Lansing police chief preparing for a ZOMBIE invasion?  Is there any Homeland Security money going toward this chainsaw purchase?  If this isn't some kind of Halloween gag publicity stunt, and they really are preparing for zombies... good Lord.  I thought I was the supposed to be the crazy one...
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Kajet
 

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« Reply #1 on: 2007-10-27, 23:57 »

What the... spork? thats the stupidest thing i've read all year...

Also Don't chainsaws jam up with flesh/meat?
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Phoenix
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« Reply #2 on: 2007-10-28, 02:30 »

Um... if anyone around here has personal experience sawing up fleshy things with chainsaws, I'd think some info would need to be forwarded along to the FBI?  Slipgate - Distraught

Now I do know that butchers use bandsaws, and I would think that chainsaws would be powerful enough to deal with fleshy bits considering trees have sap and sappy wood shavings tend to get around the chain sprocket.  Usually chainsaws bind up not because of wood shavings but because of the tree or log pinching the chain.  Flesh is pretty soft and sharp pointed things tend to make short work of it, and chainsaw teeth are quite sharp.  If you've ever examined or used one, those little blades are rather nasty, and before you ask about Phoenix doing the lumberjack thing, remember that I modeled the Doom chainsaw after a real chainsaw that was, erm, "loaned" to me (lousy thing leaked oil profusely as well).  I don't think there's much in a fleshy creature that could pinch the blade like a tree trunk can, so a chainsaw binding up from zombie gibs seems somewhat unlikely to me.  Clogging up the air cleaner inlet from splatter is another matter.

Of course, there was the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I mean the real one, not the film adaptation, so there is some precedent on chainsaw-to-human interaction, if anyone wants to research that it's up to them.  Either way I would think that it would take a Hell of a lot of zombies to gum up a sufficiently powerful chainsaw.  I just wonder why the hell a police department would want to use chainsaws as weapons.  Seriously, are they training the officers on proper chainsaw vs. zombie technique?  Where the hell do they get this stuff?
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Lopson
 

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« Reply #3 on: 2007-10-28, 08:51 »

Great way to spend tax money!
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Kajet
 

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« Reply #4 on: 2007-10-28, 19:02 »

I've heard that zombies differ on what... 'mythology' you use as a source, some die when their heads are destroyed/cut off, but others just don't stop at all.

So what info do you consider to be truth when preparing for an invasion of FICTIONAL CREATURES?!?
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Phoenix
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« Reply #5 on: 2007-10-28, 19:44 »

Well considering that zombies, traditionally, hail from voodoo, there is some belief that powerful drugs are used by a voodoo "sorcerer" to place a person into a near-dead state and then to rob them of their senses and make them susceptible to suggestion.  This would make them a drug-controlled, though very living, human that would need medical attention, not chainsaw wounds, and they certainly wouldn't mass invade.

Now barring the drugged out person, yes, many cultures have a belief in the undead rising from the grave or being reanimated by some sorcerer as a slave.  These kinds of zombies don't tend to participate in invasions.  Historically they're rather rare to see.  I would assume that since they're worried about a zombie invasion that they're concerned with the zombie as it is in pop culture, horror movies, and video games.  That would generally be one of three types:

1)  Pathogenic zombie.  This is the Resident Evil version, where some contagious element exists in the zombie, where the zombie is capable of "infecting" those it comes in contact with, usually through an open wound, such as a bite mark.  This would be the most serious threat for mass invasion as anyone coming in contact with the zombie could be zombified.  Head shots are a must, as this kind requires a disruption of the brain to cause neurological activity to cease so that the zombie cannot function.  Bad news is, even if you live through it, you might come in contact with the pathogen at any time, and risk later infection and/or transmission.  Chainsaws would almost certainly cover you with pathogenic zombie kibble, so you'd be better off with snipers and expert marksman, machineguns, lots of ammo, and flamethrowers are a must for "crowd control".

2)  Live Undead.  This would be Night of the Living Dead.  Corpses would be somehow reanimated, either by some supernatural or unknown physical process.  Depending on whether people killed by the zombies would be automatically reanimated themselves or not, this could be the second most serious threat for contagion factor, simply because while wounds would be insufficient for zombification, getting killed by zombies would mean you join their ranks.  The question of what state of decomposition and how much physical strength the zombies would have would be of concern.  How much flesh is required for the zombie to reanimate, and how long after death can they be raised?  If it is indefinite, then skeletal remains technically would not be zombies - they would just be undead, and how they would function without any muscles and nerves would be of question.  Also, most caskets in the United States are sealed in concrete vaults underground, with a great deal of earth shoveled over them.  Gone are the days of the wooden box and shovel-toting grave digger.  They use backhoes to dig graves now.  The zombie would have some trouble getting out of the grave, or being exposed to whatever it is that makes dead people into zombies, assuming it's not some kind of permeating energy field.  So depending on what can reanimate and the area of effect of the zombification power, it's hard to say how many zombies would get up and moving.  Once people start dying, then the problems really start.  Since these kind of zombies aren't contagious, chainsaws and bladed weapons would be very useful, especially if these kind of zombies fall into the Evil Dead category where full body dismemberment could be the only sure way to stop them.  Definitely the messiest invasion.

3)  Alien parasitic organism.  Completely up in the air on this one.  You have headcrabs, body snatchers... could be from a dimensional rift, or mass bombardment from space.  This kind of invasion could vary from an ELE to a small, containable outbreak.  If it's microbial and mass distributed everyone's screwed, so no further comment is necessary.  If it's something like headcrabs, I think those old German spiky helmets might come in handy.  Something like crabs would have an initial shock factor but the crabs and zombies would be easy to spot.  A well armed populace will fare better than an unarmed one for certain, but with sufficient police and military response it's stoppable.

4)  Possessed (Former Humans).  This is not classic zombification, but a kind of mass demonic possession ala Doom.  This would be less a threat for contagion after the initial takeover, but very dangerous as the zombies would be under an intelligent, malevolent control and not just ruled by some autopilot hunger instinct.  The zombies themselves would be more easily killed, being not true undead and still governed by the laws of biology, though they may possess supernatural strength and other powers inherent in the possessing entity, such as perfect night vision, extra sensory perception, etc.  If they can pick up and wield weapons that's even worse.  Who would be a candidate for zombification is up in the air, though people with a very strong spiritual faith and virtuous character would have a greater chance of resisting possession, while the depraved would probably be immediately taken over.  There might be other unknown factors involved in the possession process.  The area of effect would depend on the number of evil entities available to take people over along with how many and how widespread the portal origins would be, and the contagion factor would be dependent upon whether more keep "coming through" or if the spirits possessing any killed former humans can repossess or if they lose their potency and their power dissipates on this plane after their host body is killed.  Of course, this kind of invasion might be the worst of all, since it would imply some breach in the fabric of dimensions separating this world from some Dimension of Pain, and thus the possibility of invasion of more powerful beings following the initial possession outbreak, leading to a true Hell on Earth.  Unless the portal closes quickly, I think you'd need more than just chainsaws for this one.  Paging Mr. Doomguy?
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Sucutrule
 

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« Reply #6 on: 2007-10-29, 02:30 »

aaaaahhhh.... Phoenix and his long replies Slipgate - Exhausted...

Anyways, it's more probable that it's a publicity stunt like phoenix said, since theres no WAY someone would have that much voodoo power. (joking)
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Phoenix
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« Reply #7 on: 2007-10-29, 04:59 »

Especially since 3dfx is no more.  Slipgate - Tongue
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Kajet
 

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« Reply #8 on: 2007-10-29, 06:37 »

But why would a police force want to pull a publicity stunt? It doesn't quite make sense to me... unless they know something...
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Dr Sean
 

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« Reply #9 on: 2007-10-30, 02:28 »

I really don't know what to think about that... I hope it's a joke. But as for the jamming thing, I've used chainsaws (on wood, mind you) enough to make the assumption that as long as you keep it spinning fast, it could probably cut through just about anything. Well, not like concrete and stuff like that, but anything soft. Relativly soft. Like bone!
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Woodsman
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« Reply #10 on: 2007-10-31, 04:28 »

Hey who says its a joke? the people of raccoon city thought they could never be invaded by zombies so they didnt prepare. and what do they have to say now? nothing! because they are dead! uhahahahahahahahaha!!!
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Kajet
 

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« Reply #11 on: 2007-10-31, 04:48 »

Maybe it's me but there seems to be more zombie related stuff this year than last year...

http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-s...ie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html
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« Reply #12 on: 2007-10-31, 15:10 »

Phoenix. You mention the Evil Dead under Live Undead, but wouldn't they be more appropriate in the Possessed category? Most of the creatures throughout the series don't even appear in a stereotypical zombie-like state and are most certainly inhabited by Sumerian demons. I'm a huge fan of the franchise, Army of Darkness in particular.

"It got into my hand and went bad..."Chainsaw
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Phoenix
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« Reply #13 on: 2007-10-31, 16:40 »

I was only referencing Evil Dead in regards to the requirement of full body dismemberment to kill the zombie, not the method of reanimation.  In the "Living Dead" category, I'm assuming some unknown, unseen force is reanimating the dead bodies and controlling them, not in the sense of possession where each individual zombie is under the control of a specific, unique entity per zombie, but more like a force field or some other unknown area effect of unknown origin, and speculating as to how to combat said zombies depending on whether the dead flesh would be able to operate independently of neurological control.

Kajet:  That's a rather disturbing piece.  Nanobots are a way off, but some weaponized pathogen would be quite feasible with current technology.  Consider transgenics and what they're doing in that field right now, mixing human and animal cellular tissue.  Take a virus or bacteria that is common in another species but otherwise harmless to man, and now because of exposure to hybridized cells, develops the capability to jump species and infect man.  The number of unknown risk factors is incalculable, but that's the very risk science is currently taking.

Everyone has heard of the Avian Flu.  Truth is, ALL influenza is Avian in origin.  The normal infection route of influenza is that the virus infects pigs, which while immune to it, can carry it, and the virus mutates within the pig.  It then becomes communicable to humans, though in a weakened form.  It inconveniences you, but Avian influenza is deadly to birds, but not normally wide spread.  The poultry industry and poor sanitation and care conditions in China and other Asian nations is to blame for the mass infection of wild birds.  This in turn has caused a wider spread of influenza into migratory birds.  Certain strains of influenza can mutate and become directly transmissible to humans.  This is what they mean when the call it the Avian Flu or Bird Flu.  It is very rare that one virus can infect genetically disparate species, but throwing a catalyst into the equation - in this case pigs - and you get human-transmissible influenza.

So science goes ahead and mixes human cells with animal cells of every kind, trying to cheat death and grow new organs for people who can afford them, opening up the Pandora's box for catastrophic plagues.  Is a zombie plague possible then?  Who knows.  I know the bible predicts pestilences, and "people seeking death but death escaping them" during God's time of judgement on the nations, and that the Abyss will be opened and monstrous beings will pour forth.  Maybe zombies fit into the real Apocalypse somehow, partly by man's own devices, partly by supernatural forces?  Who can say.  I never thought I'd see the day that hairless apes would fly to the moon.  If someone told me that a million years ago I would have thought them crazy too.

Maybe those chainsaws aren't such a bad idea in the long run anyway.  At least if there's a storm the police can help with clearing fallen trees.
  Slipgate - Wink
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Kajet
 

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« Reply #14 on: 2007-10-31, 18:19 »

Police? Doing something helpful? That doesn't include shooting someone 149 times? NO WAI! (I've lived in this damn town too long, and I bet it's worse elsewhere)
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