2020-11-25, 05:47 *
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Author Topic: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes  (Read 2389 times)
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Phoenix
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« on: 2020-03-19, 04:19 »

I love puns and bad jokes, and the mood needs to be lightened a bit with all this virus gloom and... er...  If you can think of any or know any post them here.  Use the spoiler tag on the answers for best results (and groans).  Here's a few to get us started:

How was BJ able to assassinate Hitler?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do you call a demon laughing uncontrollably?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What's Ranger's favorite dessert?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

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Orbital-S2D
 

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« Reply #1 on: 2020-03-28, 17:07 »

wermp wermp wermp
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GET THAT GUY GET THAT GUY, PEW PEW PEW!
Kain-Xavier
 

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« Reply #2 on: 2020-05-10, 00:18 »

What did the Wretch say to the Slayer after handing him the Praetor suit?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why did the Lost Soul cross the road?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What's the DOOM Slayer's favorite drink?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why did the Icon of Sin take a nap?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Phoenix
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« Reply #3 on: 2020-05-10, 09:18 »

Great ones, Kain! Slipgate - Laugh

What did the Archvile say when the Doom Slayer used the Flame Belch on him?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do the demons call a Hell Knight wearing a suit and tie?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why is the Icon of Sin so damned big?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And finally...

How do Revenants play the trumpet with no lips?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Kain-Xavier
 

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« Reply #4 on: 2020-05-10, 11:04 »

Nice!  You just inspired a few more from me. :p

Why do Carcasses have trouble making friends?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why are Scrags so angry?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What happened to the Summoner?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why did the RoE Marine shoot the Imp?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What is Biker's favorite song?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: 2020-05-10, 11:17 by Kain-Xavier » Logged

Kain-Xavier
 

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« Reply #5 on: 2020-05-10, 21:00 »

I didn't mean to double-post but I can't edit my last one.  Here are some more jokes:

Why does the Quake II marine hate Grunt?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do Stroggs love to eat?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: 2020-05-10, 21:06 by Kain-Xavier » Logged

Phoenix
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« Reply #6 on: 2020-05-10, 21:46 »

Double-post away, my friend!  Slipgate - Love
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Phoenix
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« Reply #7 on: 2020-05-11, 00:33 »

Why does BJ get sick after eating?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What does the Mancubus think about the Doom Slayer?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

BJ, Quakeguy, and Doom Slayer walk into a bar.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Who else could have defeated the Khan Maykr?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What did the Doom Slayer name his ship?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do you get if you put a Cacodemon next to a Pain Elemental?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Kain-Xavier
 

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« Reply #8 on: 2020-05-13, 05:53 »

What do you get if you put a Cacodemon next to a Pain Elemental?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I would post a picture of a Cacodemon laughing but the internet's failing me at the moment.  Here's a few more jokes I came up with instead. Slipgate - Laugh

What did the Pinky say to the Nightmare Spectre?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What's the best way to install VIOS?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What happened to the Sawcubus's hand?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Phoenix
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« Reply #9 on: 2020-05-24, 22:54 »

How do demons send messages?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Which Maykr is first up in the morning?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How do demons run programs?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What did Quakeguy say to the Dopefish?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why did the Q2 grunt get banned from the message board?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Phoenix
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« Reply #10 on: 2020-06-13, 03:14 »

Not my joke, but someone recording a Doom Eternal playthrough referred to the Carcass as "The Donald Trump of Demons... who keeps building walls in front of me instead of Mexico."  I just about fell over.   Slipgate - Laugh
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Woodsman
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« Reply #11 on: 2020-06-17, 17:28 »

I'm working on doom maps these days, once i have 10 or so I'm going to blow a huge .wad
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Phoenix
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« Reply #12 on: 2020-06-17, 23:34 »

I'm looking forward to playing what you're making!  Doom - Thumbs Up!
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Woodsman
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« Reply #13 on: 2020-06-18, 04:19 »

This is a video of an earlier version of my first completed map. I've find tuned it signifigantly since. If you give me your email address i can send you the wad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VMbVotCsH8
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Phoenix
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« Reply #14 on: 2020-06-19, 03:07 »

Sent you a PM with the email address.  Doom - Thumbs Up!
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Kajet
 

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« Reply #15 on: 2020-07-12, 05:00 »

If you complete a set of levels in DooM quickly does that mean you've blown a .wad?
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Woodsman
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« Reply #16 on: 2020-07-13, 23:48 »

i don't think it has to be quickly
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Phoenix
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« Reply #17 on: 2020-07-14, 03:22 »

The only thing they fear...

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Phoenix
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« Reply #18 on: 2020-07-14, 03:29 »

Terror Billy.
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Phoenix
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« Reply #19 on: 2020-07-14, 03:42 »

Also...
Pinkie Demon
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