Wirehead Studios

For those of you that don't remember, we had a YARN thread on the old boards. YARN is a simple story telling game.

The Rules:
Everyone adds a single sentence (or partial sentence) to the story, per post.
You can as crazy as you like, but keep it PG-13 rated.
At least read the last few sentences before you post.
You can't reply to your own sentence unless 24 hours pass with no one else replying.
Try not to make a habit of repling to the first reply after yours. This is a group activity, not a 2-person story.

INSERT BY DICION:
1) You CANNOT Introduce yourself into the story, Only others can introduce you into the story. Once introduced, however, you may continue it. Introducing yourself guarantees instant death.
2) If you are killed in the story, you cannot bring yourself back... this could also be considered a part of rule #1, but I just wanted to elaborate.


That's it! I'll start it off...

--------------------------------

It was a cold windy day outside, when suddenly...

... from the forbidding depths of the damp caverns came a mournful wail, signaling the imminent return of....

...the alien known only as Predator, now Hell-bent on becoming a politician, much like his former enemies Jessie and Arnold...

The Predator stalked through the campaign, his reign of terror being far more pleasing to the general populace than the current politicians.  At least this guy, you knew where you stood...

Way to not leave it open-ended DW...

This guy's stance on politics was mega-weird. After all, he chose Mario as his running mate (http://home.businesswire.com/portal/site/google/index.jsp?ndmViewId=news_view&newsId=20031111005399&newsLang=en) in his bid for...

Winning the Presidential race against the incumbent Cthulhu (http://www.cthulhu.org), who was currently in the midst of...

... a lawsuit for allegedly...

...having an afair with Dagon and conspiring to steal the unholy auras of his fellow Gods of Old...

...by stealing their unholy auras and...

(Writer's block. :P)

...their twice as unholy sex toys.  The Predator then challenged Cthulu to...

OOC:  Hey, I figured if it wasn't open ended, someone else would have to be creative and put down something.  '-)

... an old-fashioned light sabre battle on the planet of...

.... Kaniki-kaniki-wokwok-pattui, the third planet in the solar system of the middle star in Orion's belt. Otherwise known as ...

...Iskabibble, home of the Wibbles. As Cthulu and Mario squared off, a...

...stray astroid penetrated the unique atmosphere which surrounds Iskabibble, causeing a...

Massive influx of chocolate chip cookie D'oh!  The D'oh was everywhere!  Before they could blink, it began to...

...enfatten the populace with its saturated-fatty goodness until someone...

...filed a hideously stupid lawsuit against the makers of the D'oh, demanding they either recall all of it or be entombed in a huge block of D'oh.....

... now the makers of the D'oh knew what a horrible, fatty substance this D'oh was... and they didn't want to be entombed inside a huge block of it, so they decided to...

.... inlist the services of the Elite Guardians of the Milky Way, or Milkies as they were known, who were a group of strange, white liquid-based life forms. Once the Milkies combined with the D'oh ....

...they formed an unstoppable force known to all as the Schitz.  When confronted with the Schitz, one should...

...call upon the Almighty, also known as Jack. Jack eats Schitz for breatfast, before going on to...

Hunt down lawyers and regurgitate all over them.  The Almighty stands for goodness and righteousness against evil, and lawyers are the second most evil force in the known universe.  The first is...

...Lee'Mon, the guy with the launch codes. Unless stopped he will lauch....

The Gibbed Giblet of Gibbiness, which creates a massive shockwave that gibs everything on the entire surface of any planet, while at the same time nuking 1/2 of Detroit no matter what planet it destroys.  Fortunately for us...

...McDeth, who wields the power of ignorance, accidently...

...tripped and fell down a well. Meanwhile, the great and powerful Oz sat in his emerald city, planning...

* UPDATE TO THE RULES:
1) You CANNOT Introduce yourself into the story, I thought we all remembered that from the last yarn. Only others can introduce you into the story. Once introduced, however, you may continue it. Introducing yourself guarantees instant death. As seen above.
2) If you are killed in the story, you cannot bring yourself back... this could also be considered a part of rule #1, but I just wanted to elaborate.

with that..

GAME ON!


... what he was going to have for breakfast that morning. He decieded on toast and eggs. While eating breakfast...

... Oz rethinks his attempt to change his image. Discovering the Darth Vader suit was a little over the top, scaring the crap out of the Munchkins and causing them to scatter to the far reaches of the universe. So he ...

...listened to the voice from the well apologize for having a lapse in memory about the rules from the last game as he took his final breath. Meanwhile...

...in a galaxy far far away...

...Biff and Pimple, two of the Battletoads, along with Earthworm Jim prepared to rescue the lovely Princess Whats-her-name from the evil clutches of Shredder! Shredder was demanding a ransom of...

....ten thousand gallons of Easy Cheese with which to use in his evil plot to...

... hold Easy Cheese female wrestling deathmatches in urban shopping malls all across the Northern Hemishere. These events were meant to be a distraction, drawing attention away from ...

The secret plot of the all-powerful Quake to rid the world of Counter-Strike forever.  (Well, we knew anyone who employed Shamblers couldn't be all bad, right?)  As Quake's forces began to move...

...  they accidentally bumped Romero's massive ego, which in turn rolled towards the hapless Counterstrike players who...

...futiley tried to scramble out of the way of the approaching monolith. However, en masse, they died as Romero's stupendous ego crushed the life from their small, putrid bodies. As the entire world rejoiced, a....

... a noxious cloud of gas arose from the vat containing the Easy Cheese. "WTF have you done?!?" Shredder screamed at his bumbling henchmen. "We were just trying to divide our stash of Easy Cheese. So we cut it. We cut the cheese..." Just then ...

...a large rodent of some sort entered the room, baring a humanoid looking manifestation. The hecnhmen, who were into some kinky things, quickly recognized this "man" as Raskinov, a Russian cheese pirate who also dealt in illegal arms and Lego pornography in order to fund his...

....collection of anthropomorphic bat porn, of which the evil tyrants Dicion and Dev/Null coveted....

.....by ways of prostitution....

.....meanwhile, the evil lizardman bounty hunter continued to scour the land for female slaves for his huge space-brothel and selective breeding farm........ :D

of love-starved alien parrots, who had an insatiable apetite for...

( in answer to "on a side note":  To keep the focus on the story as opposed to who wrote it.  I did this in the last yarn thread too.  I may be vain, but there is a limit you know... )

...pink, plump, and juicy elbows and...

....flashy white breasts .....


(on a side note
how come it aint yellow  :huh:

...genetically engineered by...

... The scientist Boo B. Spherical, who desired above all else to enhance the bustlines of mammalian life-forms all over the galaxy.  The lizardman bounty hunter on the other hand hated Spherical, and sought to use the parrot horde to foil her plan by devouring her stocks of enhancements, and by...

...damning her to the planet Ecchi where great tentacle beasts...

......look at mass collections of birdy porn. On a related note, Pho got caught with a vat of vaseline and....

...a bunch of pomegranites. Shortly afterwards, he burst into flames. Officers say he overdosed on...

... too much juicy sweet goodness.  But that's ok, we know he'll be back someday.  Meanwhile...

... ConfusedUs, tired of the way the other team members are always leaving messes around the office, provided Phoenix with a unique challange concerning any plans to return by using an Oreck XL Ultra vacuum cleaner to pick up all of his ashes and then depositing those ashes into a nearby dumpster. This, of course, lead to ....

...a dirty birdy, which...

... took a bath, and began a campaign of non-violent hate-crimes involving...

....vaseline...

.... doorknobs, and ....

...the Wizzanator, a new device developed specifically to help those in need pass drug tests and...

reduce bloating, which usually happens when gas...

...accumulates in the sub-cockle area which eventually leads to...

...an uncontrollable debauchery for....

...feather dusters.  The whizzinator was modified to project vaseline over distance so the doorknobs could be greased with impunity.  He called this new device the "Greasinator 10k", and began greasing doorknobs at random.  This reign of terror continued for weeks until finally...

..... the automatic door was invented, which unfortunately caused alot of lifeforms to.....

.... open doors at random, often revealing ...

parents in strange activities which meant....

...an increasing demand for vaseline 10ks...

...which contains a very special ingredient, an ingredient which carries the only known pathogen able of killing the vampiric potatoes...

.... that plagued the cities and people of the beautiful planet of Stavromueller Beta. And suddenly there was......

lots of laughing gas

...when the latest dragon of anoyia that was accidentally awakened in the Dimension of Pain broke wind.  This annoyed ...

...that old pasty guy who rides in the electric scooter at Raley's and harasses the female clerks, however he couldn't do anything about it because he was so fat from....

...obesity...

and body fat...

..brought on from consuming mass quantities of leftover turkey and dressing. Just then ....

...a green fish with googly eyes and bucked teeth burped and said...

... "Heroes taste like chicken!"  And promptly swam away.  Meanwhile...

.... a maniacal madman, masquerading as the Santa Claus of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, methodically began his psychological warfare campaign by shouting the phrase "HO! HO! HO!" into the crowd, none of whom were aware of the subliminal messages contained within. Suddenly ....

...bun-bun appeared, thinking it WAS the real Santa Claus and shouted "You're DEAD fat man!"  Bun-bun promptly emptied his glock into the imposter Santa.  Upon realizing that he just shot the wrong guy he shrugged and said "Oh well.  Shouldn't be dressing up like my targets if you don't want to get shot." and promptly poinged away.  The shooting induced mass panic, in which the public began to...

(If you don't know who bun-bun is, I invite you to visit http://sluggy.com (http://sluggy.com) and read the comic!)

...suck down vast amounts of ramen and...

...motion lotion....

... which of course made them violently ill, as motion lotion is a lubricant, and not a consumable fluid. This caused a massive plague of vomiting, which resulted in...

Vomitoriums making a comeback, which enabled

... shrooms mode for all players who said an emphatic "YES!" when ludicrous gibs appeared from nowhere...