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Title: Absurdity Squared (What's next?) Post by: Phoenix on 2005-05-27, 16:07 http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4581871.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4581871.stm)
Quote A&E doctors are calling for a ban on long pointed kitchen knives to reduce deaths from stabbing....The researchers said there was no reason for long pointed knives to be publicly available at all. To quote Will Smith, "You know, somehow 'I told you so' just doesn't cut it." Guns were just the start. What else will they decide that you don't "need", hmm?They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen. None of the chefs felt such knives were essential, since the point of a short blade was just as useful when a sharp end was needed. Title: Re: Absurdity Squared Post by: Tabun on 2005-05-27, 16:13 I think we need handgrenades. Not nescessarily in the kitchen ofcourse...
Title: Re: Absurdity Squared Post by: scalliano on 2005-05-27, 20:38 Stepladders. I saw Jackie Chan take on about 10 guys with one in a movie once.
Title: Re: Absurdity Squared Post by: Angst on 2005-05-27, 21:21 I don't know whether I should fall down laughing, or just stand here appalled..
A weapon is any device used to inflict harm. It doesn't matter WHAT it is. Removing availability simply causes the individual in question to find something else. What's next? forks? hammers? if you really want to hurt someone, you can use just about anything at hand. Replacing everything that COULD be used as a weapon with a nerf equivalent suddenly seems viable.. Welcome to the world of Fisher-Price. Title: Re: Absurdity Squared Post by: NovAReapeR on 2005-05-27, 21:49 Lmfao. personally, i think we need headcrabs. LONG LOVE HALF-LIFE!!!
Title: Re: Absurdity Squared Post by: Moshman on 2005-05-27, 23:00 The government wants control over the people. Simple. Liberistic ideas favor more government in people's lives. I jist want to live my life, not bow down to the government for scraps of my own money, while opression is taking place. I can't take it. What, ban plastic forks?
"We've got a 1543 guys" "whats's a 1543? "Possession of a plastic butter knife. Arm yourselves men!" :offtopic: Hwey Nova how'd you get a custom title? Title: Re: Absurdity Squared Post by: NovAReapeR on 2005-05-27, 23:24 I didnt choose it lol, i was given it :O :offtopic:
Title: Re: Absurdity Squared Post by: Thomas Mink on 2005-05-27, 23:50 Baseball bats are often used in crimes. I think a nationwide ban would be appropriate. Baseball players, fans, and employees might not like it, but that's the price paid for reducing crime in the nation.
Title: Re: Absurdity Squared Post by: shambler on 2005-05-28, 00:13 Apparently, most shark attacks happen in water.
I think it should be banned too. Title: Re: Absurdity Squared Post by: Woodsman on 2005-05-28, 03:31 A strong man can brake a persons neck with his bare hands. Better ban hands.
Title: Re: Absurdity Squared Post by: Lopson on 2005-05-28, 10:55 I think we should ban gravity. IT MAKES US FALL ON THE FLOOR AND HURT OURSELVES. And chickens. Their sound is harmful to...hidrogen (is this right?).
"OH NO THE NUKE IS ABOUT TO BLOW!!!" "Don't worry men, i HAVE A CHICKEN!" "Hurray we're saved!" Title: Re: Absurdity Squared Post by: Thomas Mink on 2005-05-28, 21:33 "Fill the cracks in, with judicial granite.. Because I don't say it, don't mean I ain't thinkin' it. Next thing you know they'll take my thoughts away." - Megadeth -- Holy Wars... The Punishment Due
"You take a mortal man / And put him in control / Watch him become a god / Watch peoples' heads a roll... a roll... a rolllllllllllll... / Just like the Pied Piper, led rats through the streets / We dance like the marionettes, swayin' to the symphony... of destruction" - Megadeth -- Symphony of Destruction Title: Re: Absurdity Squared Post by: Phoenix on 2005-05-29, 03:34 I have a better song to quote.
Do you see what I see? Truth is an offence You silence for your confidence Do you hear what I hear? Doors are slamming shut Limit your imagination, keep you where they must Do you feel what I feel? Bittering distress Who decides what you express? So you take what I take? Endurance is the word Moving back instead of forward seems to be absurd Doesn't matter what you see Or into it what you read You can do it your own way If it's done how I say Independence limited Freedom of choice is made for you my friend Freedom of speech is words that they will bend Freedom with their exception Do you fear what I fear? Living properly Truths to you are to me Do you choose what I choose? More alternatives Energy derives from both the plus and negative Do you need what I need? Boundaries overthrown Look inside, to each his own So you trust what I trust? Me, myself and I Penetrate the smoke screen, I see through the selfish lie Doesn't matter what you see Or into it what you read You can do it your own way If it's done how I say Independence limited Freedom of choice is made for you my friend Freedom of speech is words that they will bend Freedom with their exception Do you know what I know? Your money and your wealth You silence just to hear yourself Do you want what I want? Desire not a thing I hunger after independence, lengthen freedom's ring Doesn't matter what you see Or into it what you read You can do it your own way If it's done how I say Independence limited Freedom of choice is made for you my friend Freedom of speech is words that they will bend Freedom no longer frees you Doesn't matter what you see Or into it what you read You can do it your own way If it's done how I say Title: Re: Absurdity Squared Post by: Thomas Mink on 2005-05-29, 17:37 :offtopic:
Ahhh... how I miss the old Metallica... :) :offtopic: |