Once upon a time there was a Hobbit named Dildo Baggins. He had an awesome toe-ring that make him completely irrestible to fish. Oh how the fish danced and sang when he arrived!

Then one day, he met the powerful wizard Distaff! Distaff was great at many things: smoking, candle-stick making, and armpit shaving. But above all other things, he loved dropping God-bombs on people!

And Distaff was a master at godbombing! He'd rise up in the air, and in a thunderous voice proclaim the wrongs of world. "You said God doesn't exist!" he would boom! Then he'd wave his phallic staff around and BAM, a god-bomb would drop on his poor hapless victim.

Dildo, however, was immune to godbombs. His fishy friends would always get in the way, distracting the great wizard! "Swim, you fools!" thundered Distaff, but to no avail. The shoddy orcseses always ate the fishies before they could swim away.

Then one day, the gay elf (holy crap what an oxymoron) Leggomyeggo dropped by! "You have my acts!", cried the elf! And Distaff was enraged. "Elves don't carry axes, you fool! I'm gonna drop a god-bomb on you!" And so he did. The poor gay elf was turned into a fishie, and spent the rest of his days flopping around Dildo, hoping for a handout, or maybe some distilled water. Chlorine sucks for fishies, you know.