I tracked down the issue to drivers and issues with the onboard nic. I had recently switched from the old trusty 3com 905b-tx to the gbit onboard. Made more sense once I got the 1gbit router, but since I've not been using steam very long, that's the only connection steam has ever been over.
Once I switched to the gbit router, and realized there were all sorts of issues (including connection cutting out and file transfers between my NAS and computer resulting in BSODs). I was able to trace this to the marvell driver. I bought a new intel nic and everything is working perfectly