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Wirehead Studios > General Discussion > Off-Topic > Been writing lately (Actually been doing alot of it)
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Author Topic: Been writing lately (Actually been doing alot of it)  (Read 9817 times)
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Lilazzkicker
 

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« on: 2004-01-28, 10:52 »
http://members.cox.net/lakstudios/TheDream.txt

I dont want comments about spelling or grammer, for I know it is lacking these components, and remember, it is a rough draft, I will take negative comments, but avoid what I already know when commenting.
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ConfusedUs
 

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« Reply #1 on: 2004-01-28, 10:54 »
I'll read it tomorrow when the words aren't blurring together.

/me goes to bed now
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Phoenix
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« Reply #2 on: 2004-01-28, 10:59 »
Grammar errors galore, but the only thing I will caution you about gramatically is that you are writing in present tense.  That is a very difficult writing style, and you have to watch that you don't slip into past tense during your narrative, as you did near the beginning.  It does need some fleshing out.  It's very choppy right now.  Needs to be more fluid.  I like the strange direction you're taking though.
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« Reply #3 on: 2004-01-28, 13:05 »
exelent use of tences.
but I think you made some spelling errors
 Thumbs up!
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Woodsman
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« Reply #4 on: 2004-01-28, 15:18 »
Spelling and grammar arent a big issue because you can always correct them later. More importantly the present tense perspective can really only hinder the readers enjoyment  because it just doesnt read fluidly enough.
« Last Edit: 2004-01-28, 15:19 by Woodsman » Logged
Angst
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« Reply #5 on: 2004-01-28, 16:48 »
Quote
exelent use of tences.
but I think you made some spelling errors

Looks like you done GK proud lil Slipgate - Tongue

Very good start though, your visual cues near the end are superb.
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l4mby
 

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« Reply #6 on: 2004-01-28, 21:27 »
I shall read it tonight when I get home from chick night.
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ConfusedUs
 

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« Reply #7 on: 2004-01-29, 04:50 »
I like it, just fix up the grammar errors, tense changes, and stuff. Good 'mysteriou' feeling at the end.
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Lilazzkicker
 

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« Reply #8 on: 2004-02-01, 22:19 »
Chapter 1, with updated prologue.

http://members.cox.net/ppk1/writing.html

Feedback is always welcome.  But due to the nature of parts of the story, I almost regret posting it here.  

Thanks
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Lilazzkicker
 

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« Reply #9 on: 2004-02-02, 20:36 »
Some site changes in place, and here comes chapter two.

Prologue: The Dream
http://members.cox.net/ppk1/prologue.html
Chapter 1: An Awakening
http://members.cox.net/ppk1/chapter1.html
Chapter 2: Unknown Enemies & Allies
http://members.cox.net/ppk1/chapter2.html
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Lilazzkicker
 

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« Reply #10 on: 2004-02-05, 03:05 »
I rushed the first to chapters in my story leaving an  over abundance of comma's, lack of depth and detail, and tense errors. Working to fix these things, hopefully I can have the revised story up in another few days.
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