Are you frustrated by a total and complete lack of sex? Do you weigh in excess of 250 lbs? Are you currently unemployed, simply because everyone who uses a computer is too stupid to appreciate your incredible talents? Are you a network administrator? If you answered yes to any of these questions, try the 'screw Micro$haft (lol)' bandwagon today!
Simply pick up the habit of deriding anyone who uses or is affiliated with Microsoft, and your elitist asshole level will instantly triple right before the eyes of your former friends! (Don't worry; they were clearly uneducated corporate sheep if they don't share your newfound views). As you learn to properly utilize such catchphrases as 'Install Linux, problem solved', 'Micro$haft', 'tool of the devil' and 'open source' (Do not worry if you cannot understand the source, most Linux users cannot. Just don't let anyone catch on!), you will gain a sense of feeling as though you are actually someone of intelligence and importance! And if you act now, we'll throw in the latest version of Slackware, widely regarded to be the most 'hardcore' Linux distro, ABSOLUTELY FREE, elevating you to plane of elitism known only by the most hard core of slash-dotters!
Hurry and act now, because it won't be long 'till all those cool non-conformists find a new bandwagon to hop on!
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