Hmm. Well, here are some comments from my end, anyway. Just ignore if unwelcome or too late. :]
Screenshots in this folder, numbers referenced [####] like so.
http://www.xs4all.nl/~zia/tmp/minkdm5/[0000]The teleporter texture looks blurry and is a bit simple. It would look much nicer if it was sharper and perhaps had more of a "starscape"-ish look. If you want, I can send you my slipgate teleporter shader, which is a three-layered combination of tcmod turb'd textures.
[0001]All of these doorways are a bit too low for Q3. It can too easily happen that you bump your head in the frame while trying to jump through it. It also looks a bit simplistic -- but then it is almost an exact copy of the original's brushwork, so that should probably be no real problem.
[0002]Step heights are a bit too large here, and with every other staircase in the map. It would look nicer (to me) if the steps would be about half as high as these (and it would play a bit smoother aswell).
[0003]All of these wall-lights are unclipped. You can walk right through them. Usually they're high up enough for this to go unnoticed most of the time, but here between the pillars you can get ugly effects such as pictured here..
[0004]This is a
very low ceiling, allowing for hardly any jump at all. It's always been that way in Quake, but it bothered me and I had to work at it to get it a little roomier without breaking the design. One thing that you may consider is to embed the light brushes into the roof, rather than let them sit on its surface, so that at least they won't make it lower. If not, then they could at least be clipped (with angled brushes) so that you won't bump into them.
[0005]These light fixtures look a bit too massive. There are quite a few of them, and they look a bit too heavy/blobby to make much sense. I also think the texture could be closer to the overall tone of the map (more brownish or reddish, perhaps).
[0006]Water is nice (shader could perhaps use another layer for a more realistic wavey effect), especially the color looks good and murky. The floor, however, contrasts too much with that. It looks clean and shiny, whereas the water surface would suggest something tarnished and stained.
[0007]I like the way you cut up the tiles here - a nice detail that the map could do with in more places, perhaps. What is odd to me here, is the placement of the GL and the health so close to eachother, especially since the GL is sitting neatly in the middle of the hole in the floor, while the health is off center.
[0008]Looks a little weird to me, the way the light overlaps with the inset. Looks like it could work physically, so maybe not a problem at all.
[0009]This texture (wooden underside) could be rotated to match the orientation of the brush. That'd make it look more natural.
[0010]Why not build these insets with curves? You can get a really nice rounded arch (or half-arch) without having to worry about r_speeds at all in this map.
[0011]I found this a little odd. The teleporter frame is very thick here, whereas the other teleporter is a bit thinner even than the originals in q1dm5. Looks to me like the two teleporters should be pretty much the same. Moving the teleporter a bit closer to the wall can also prevent people from sneaking behind it.
[0012]The door texture is very Quaky. The contrast between it and the very smooth texture of the frame looks odd, however. In both color and grit, the difference between the textures makes it look unmatched, like a door was put in a place intended for a star-trek-type door.. ;]
[0013]I like these kinds of details. The only thing that detracts from the attempt, is that all the tiles are still "on the grid". If one or two would be shifted a fraction and rotated, it would look more realistically like a bunch of tiles loosely sitting on the ground.
[0014]This, like the area between the RA-room and the GL-area, is very low. Jumping into it happens almost every time you try to make speed. With this scale, I don't see how it could be fixed without make serious alterations to the design, however.
[0015]Finally, these pillars look
very massive. They look like they need to support a huge weight, but nothing else in the design suggests that there is something to be supported. Looks a little odd to me. If you don't expect the map to make any sense (and as a cistern, the original made little to no sense, anyway) that's not really a problem.