I'm sorry if this rant doesn't seem appropriate for this place, but I need to get what's bothering me out right now...

I don't know if you guys would care, but up to when I started going to kindergarden my life, I feel, has gone FAR downhill. For some strange and bizarre reason most of the schools I've been in just want to make me feel gradually more worse about myself before my mother notices and withhdraws me from the said schools. One of them had a principal that actually made me act foolish in front of the whole building's inhabitants before my mother got me out of there, and if I remember right this occured in either second or third grade. At the next one I did the unexcuseable: I kicked the principal there, but only because I was scared and nothing more. After that my mother got me into a special education program just to try to keep my education up to date.

From there my life was going slowly uphill, because unlike the other schools the staff there actually cared about me. There was a time that the program had to seperate, however, and thus after I just finished middle-school it was no more. It was sad to see it disappear, but I had to move on.

When I was at the special education program I met my very first girlfriend, however the relationship ended abruptly when I heard that she was going out with someone else, and...I guess I really overreacted then, because when I found that out I was in a public high school, and I was so distressed that I skipped school for at least 2 weeks. From then on I became REALLY anti-social, because I didn't want anything else to turn their backs on me if I tried to communicate (Hence me now usually staying away from occupied places). Well, it seems that this school (again) saw this as a weak point and literally turned my life into a living hell after that.

First off, before I skipped school for two weeks they said that I can pick my own classes to take, however they did the exact opposite. I was given some classes that I didn't need to start out the year with. Next, after I returned from my two-week depression they saw how high a certain test score was (A Mathemetics one, though what the test was really called I can't remember) and threw me into Algebra right after that...with two weeks worth of work to make up in that subject. This load was WAY too much for me to bear... After that incident, some weeks later I got so nervous doing a keyboarding class (I'm incapable of typing with all fingers, so I only use one from each hand) that I just exploded, and I got kicked out after that.

Since then the school corporation was refusing to believe and do anything my mom would ask, and what's worse is that they don't have special education services - something that I really need. They also tried to keep saying that I had Asberger's (SP?) Syndrome when what I really had was high-functioning autism. After they kicked me out they hired someone who said I DIDN'T turn in my biology work and thus gave me an F on that subject, however my REAL biology teacher was real nice, and seeing the work I did she gave me a huge A. The school thought it would be fair to make that grace a C...when actually if I did 0 due to the claim then that would actually still be an F. So mcuh for that trouble.

Sometime soom after I got kicked out I had a fight with my stepdad, which caused us (being me and my mother) to move away from him. And on the same year that we moved, in December I got into so deep of a depression that my mother tried to help by putting me into a mental hospital. That obviously did not help at all...I actually had to lie my way out of there in order to keep myself sane. Since then my mother hasn't thought of doing anythbing similar since.

That's basically what has happened during my life that was worth mentioning. I'm basically incapable of getting a job and living on my own as of yet due to my emotional problems, so I can't get any money. I'm just glad that my mother has been trying to help me through most of the way...

That's the end of this rant. Again, I'm sorry if this bothers you, but I needed to get my pent-up feelings out somehow, and keeping this all inside was not an option.

I'm not nessessairly looking for support here, I just wanted to get what's in mind out. Simple as that. And thanks for your two cents.

Man that just sucks. Be cool and try to get through this tough situation. I know special ed is a pain in the ass and some of the teachers are rather corrupt and weild great power over your class choices. They like you put you in Spec Ed classes that teach you stupid bullshit that everybody knows. Like why it's important not to pick your nose and why you shouldn't scratch your crotch. Lukily I took control of my schedule.


Asberger's is equal in description as high functioning autism. I'll let you guys in on a little secret. I have this too. It is a struggle every day, you always have to keep yourself in check. We have a hard time dealing with social situations and especially social standards, (excluding political correctness). The simplest things we struggle with such as sensory and flinches. But what really separates us from ordinary people is our mental perception. I'll give an example. Every brain has channels, different "freqencies" that define the different aspects of our thoughts, senses and everything that goes on around us. Ordinary people can only use one channel at a time, while we can use multiple channels at a time. We see the whole picture of things and can anayze it well. Why do you think that some of the greatest thinkers, writers, artists and scientists have at least some level of autism?

When I'm down, I do what I do best. Create a work of art or write. Doing what you do best controls your emotions and depression that is caused by autism, none of this stupid "strattera" bullshit. Because multiple channels in our brain are always open, absorbing information, it is important to focus on keeping those channels occupied and maintained, or else they will register some unwanted emotions or actions. I learned to control my channels all the time, and it does take years of practice, but now I can go into any school and the autism consolers will not detect a wink of autism in me. However I still have my stuggles.

Use your ability to occupy your time, and yes I said ability and not disability. Those phonies like to call it a dehibiliating disease. Look at Enstein, you call that a disability. Anyway you seem like a good writer. You are very literate and coherent maybe start with that.