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Phoenix
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This is a joke, but I think it belongs here. You know, for those with no sense of humor.  HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OR HOW TO PISS OFF EVERYBODYGod went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better. The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?" And the Lord said, "They are rules for living." "Can you give us an example?" "Thou shall not kill." "Not kill? We're not interested."
So He went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments." The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Honor thy Father and Mother." "Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested."
Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments." The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said "Thou shall not steal." "Not steal? We're not interested."
Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments." The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not commit adultery." "Not commit adultery? We're not interested."
Finally, He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments." "Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?" "They're free." "Then we'll take 10."
There, that ought to offend just about everybody!
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« Last Edit: 2006-03-11, 01:14 by Phoenix »
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Lopson
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Still Going In Circles
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I think my pants are on fire.
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shambler
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How about each of us making up an 11th commandment? mine might be: Thou shall not step on the cracks in the pavement.  |
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scalliano
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Posts: 1095
Yup, that's me
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Thou shall not pass the buck.
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PSN ID: scalliano
The Arena knows no gender, colour or creed, only skill.
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Tabun
Pixel Procrastinator
Team Member
Elite (3k+)
  
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Thou shalt not understand the where might interrupt mostly don't must will force proceed.
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| Tabun |
?Morituri Nolumus Mori? |
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Woodsman
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If thou art a woman thou salt wear low cut tops and showeth thy bosom for god hath made it and it is glorious in our eyes.
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Phoenix
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All I can say is it's a good thing I'm not the one passing out commandments. None of you would like them. 
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Woodsman
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and god said unto pheonix "thou shalt not pass any commandments which might killeth woodsmans buzz"
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Phoenix
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That's good, since my name is Phoenix. 
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games keeper
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thou shall finish this mod under any surcomstances
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shambler
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and the Lord spake unto all and said : 'if thou starteth playing a computer game, thou must compleate it before starting to play another, or thou will face my wrath.
if that was number 11, I would be in deep shit, and go to hell. :!:
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Kajet
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Shambler, I don't think you'd be alone in hell for that, I have some games i've played like once or twice.
the only commanment i can think of involves the pulling of fingers so obvously it isn't very dignified.
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Thomas Mink
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All the commandments I can think of are stated elsewhere in the text as something else. So I guess I can be silly..
Thou shalt have common sense
I think a good majority of the population would suffer because of that one.. and I'd gladly watch.. muahahahahahahaha.
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Lopson
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Posts: 1133
Still Going In Circles
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Thou shalt have a hot-dog as breakfast, so that thou dies with colestrol.
COLESTROL & HEAVEN OR HELL!
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Kajet
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Thou shalt not bitch.
Thou shalt not sue due to thy own stupidity.
Thou shalt not set up thy neibor the bomb.
and finally...
Thou shalt not pass go, Thou shalt not collect two hundred dollars.
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shambler
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thou shall not put shoes in the fridge.
or: thou shall not swear at chickens.
thou shall not put your finger in a dog's ear.
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Thomas Mink
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Thou shalt not sow a field of yours with two different kinds of seed
Thou shalt not put n a garment woven with two different kinds of thread
Thou shalt not trim the edges of your beard
I think they should be made commandments.. cuz then they'd be funnier than they already are. (there's like a dozen more too)
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scalliano
Elite
Posts: 1095
Yup, that's me
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Thou shall not have a completely reliable PC.
Thou shall not blame thine own evil-doings on Grand Theft Auto.
Thou shall not have any fun whatsoever.
Thou shall hate thyself.
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PSN ID: scalliano
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Phoenix
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Well here's a few light-hearted ones anyway then.
Thou shalt not expose thyself to thy neighbor's parakeet.
Thou shalt not talk while eating yogurt.
Thou shalt not run with scissors, unless chasing thy older sister to cut off her pig tails.
Thou shalt feed the birds with premium birdseed.
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