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Author Topic: I actually laughed out loud....  (Read 12894 times)
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Dr Sean
 

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« on: 2007-11-20, 03:45 »

Here are some Half-life fan-ficitons that are so ridiculus, I actually laughed out loud. Just read them, their short and definantly worth it. OK here they are.

The original stories:

The First one:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2945837/1/Halflife_Fulllife_Consequences

The Sequel:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2946082/1/Ha..._FullLife_Consequences_2_WhatHasTobeDone

Here are two youtube videos based on them, their pretty funny too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZrkOTzPUC4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk9QYnVw6oc

And here's the authours fanfiction.net profile, if you want to read some of his other works:

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1047027/squirrelking


And, I'm not playing a joke here.
« Last Edit: 2007-11-20, 03:47 by Dr Sean » Logged
fourier
 
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« Reply #1 on: 2007-11-20, 10:28 »

Absolutely hilarious!  If someone made a real movie based on this, it would make a great comeback special for MST3K.

I loved the first flash video.
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« Reply #2 on: 2007-11-20, 16:19 »

Links to fan fiction yet no "fursonas" in sight? Shocking...
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Phoenix
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« Reply #3 on: 2007-11-20, 16:53 »

Quote
These birds dont have to see Gordon Freeman yet. its not time.
Doom - Huh?
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Phoenix
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« Reply #4 on: 2007-11-20, 17:16 »

Alright, I can't resist.  Here's my own tongue-in-beak fanfiction regarding the idea of (a rather jealous and megalomaniacal ) Gordon having a brother. Slipgate - Wink

Alyx winked coyly at Gordon.  "Why, Gordon," she said in that oh-so-annoying, teasing-yet-friendly voice, "You never told me you had a brother."  Gordon just stared blankly back at her.  What could she possibly be thinking?  "Why don't you introduce us?"  Gordon was silent.  After all this time battling the Combine forces, headcrabs, zombies, and other horrors, he had never once considered John entering into the equation.  Now he found himself speechless yet again.  It was, after all, always an equation was it not?  A balancing of variables, a simple algorithmic process by which one was to make the next choice?  All was just a progression of events toward simplification of the formula and eventual solving for x, whatever x might be in the end did not matter, only solving the equation, which invariably led to solving for the next variable, and so on and so forth.  But now, here was John, a completely new variable in the equation, a variable more alien than the aliens he had been battling.  It had all been so simple before - open this valve, engage this gearbox - but now... Chaos, that's what it was, as if Heisenberg had risen from the grave and cast uncertainty upon even the most solid principles of the quantum mechanics determining Gordon's circumstances, and thus, his actions and reactions to them.  Could it mean yet more unforeseen consequences that would lead Gordon into even more questionable ethics than he had been entangled in the last time?  Meeting John... but then, there was the other side of the equation to consider.  John had never seen headcrabs, or battled zombies, or Combine, or Xen aliens or military execution squads.  John had never single-handedly beaten both the Nihilanth and the Combine Elite.  Gordon gripped his shotgun more tightly.  Yes, the variable had a solution, both quantifiable and predictable.  Chaos was the solution, the balancing factor - the kind of chaos Gordon was used to, and that John, poor unsuspecting John...  Gordon smiled inwardly.  Yes, he would introduce John, and the equation would balance itself once again as it always had ever since Black Mesa...
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Kajet
 

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« Reply #5 on: 2007-11-20, 19:24 »

Reminds me of this story

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBQIx5jiTsg&feature=related
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Phoenix
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« Reply #6 on: 2007-11-20, 19:39 »

That's one doomed space marine...  Slipgate - Surprised  Doom - Huh?  Doom - Exclamation
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Kajet
 

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« Reply #7 on: 2007-11-21, 15:42 »

I blame cernal joson, his helmet looks like the shredder's...
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Lopson
 

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« Reply #8 on: 2007-11-21, 16:17 »

Quote
John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.
Alright, that's enough.
Want an advice? Try reading the Sonic section of that site, and prepare yourself to be amazed!

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Kajet
 

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« Reply #9 on: 2007-11-21, 23:12 »

Amazed in a good way or amazed in a "I've just lost all faith in humanity" way?
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Tabun
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« Reply #10 on: 2007-11-21, 23:24 »

If you're looking to lose faith in humanity (or anything else, for that matter), you're better (?) off finding some serious shit. This is weak-assed inanity, as far as fanfics go. Pornographic + furry + amputee fanfics of <insert random Toddler-TV-show here> are widely available. Maybe that might make you lose faith in Sonic, if you're hoping to be more specific..
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Tabun ?Morituri Nolumus Mori?
Phoenix
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« Reply #11 on: 2007-11-22, 01:30 »

Wait... you mean people have faith in humanity?  Slipgate - Surprised
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Kajet
 

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« Reply #12 on: 2007-11-22, 01:59 »

If you're looking to lose faith in humanity (or anything else, for that matter), you're better (?) off finding some serious shit. This is weak-assed inanity, as far as fanfics go. Pornographic + furry + amputee fanfics of <insert random Toddler-TV-show here> are widely available. Maybe that might make you lose faith in Sonic, if you're hoping to be more specific..

Um... you forgot guro, incest, tentacle rape, scat, and watersports...

oh, and shitting dick-nipples, can't forget those...
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Tabun
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« Reply #13 on: 2007-11-22, 02:55 »

Wait... you mean people have faith in humanity?  Slipgate - Surprised

You name it, and there's someone who has faith in it! Or at least pretends to at such lengths to make the difference irrelevant.
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Tabun ?Morituri Nolumus Mori?
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« Reply #14 on: 2007-11-22, 06:56 »

Kajet:  If there are any perversions, especially sexual ones, that humans have not participated in at some point in time then it is only because they've not gotten around to it yet.  If it can be done, it's been done, and if not, I'm sure someone's drawn a picture of it somewhere.  That is one concrete difference between man and animal.  Animals are horny simply because they need be.  Man consciously chooses all strange forms of excess.

Tab:  Well if it's a natural tendency for humans to have faith in something, then does that not compartmentalize nihilism into the realm of a consciously chosen anomaly, not so dissimilar to what is described above, but in parallel applicability to philosophy as opposed to sexuality?
  Doom - Huh?
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Tabun
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« Reply #15 on: 2007-11-22, 13:27 »

Sounds fun, but I don't see where you draw the premises for that.
- Although I might agree that humans have such a "natural tendency" (and without concerning myself about what "natural" means, here), I don't see how that follows from a statement that focuses on the abundance of varying views that someone will have faith in, and not on the universality of (properties of) those having faith. (I'm willing to accept this premise, for a given value of "natural".)
- I'm also not so sure there is any significance in "conscious choice" here. I'm sure there are some who pick and choose what they have faith in (in both the sense of "trusting" and "believing in"), as I am sure there are those who are bred to have faith in various things. (I'm willing to accept the premise: "some people consciously choose anomalous beliefs" and/or "some people have consciously chosen, what they call, 'nihilism'")
- Also, I'm not so sure I think the word "anomaly" is appropriate. If it is a common tendency for people to hav faith in something, then it would obviously be uncommon to have faith in "nothing". However, if it is common that people have empty beliefs without vivacity, then not really having faith in anything is not really all that anomalous -- since it is as much, or more, a common tendency not to really care as it is a tendency to have "faith" in something. "Faith" in scarequotes, since it might ofcourse be argued that such a weak version of it does not warrant the name. (I'm not so sure about nihilism being anomalous, so I'm not accepting this one straight away.)

The thing is, however, that nihilism (as I understand it) is not about faithfully and/or trustingly embracing a belief in nothing, least of all by any kind of conscious decision. It looks much more like the disappearance of the rule of strong, or eternal, or divine, or universal, (etc.) values, and the diminishing of faith (among other things) as something important, to something rather pointless in the background. Nihilism is about indifference, of such a kind as is not chosen with interest, but overwhelms anyone that comes to see some things rather than others as true. In a strict sense of nihilism, I think only a total and draining indifference to life and activity is nihilistic -- which is rather uncommon. In a weak sense, wherein what might have been strictly nihilist has been averted by relaxing or engrossing entertainment (yoga classes, business seminars, playing computer games, etc etc), you could say that nihilism is a pretty common condition.

Whenever it makes sense to speak of "nihilism by choice", I would guess that we're dealing with young teenagers who have read a few pages of popular Nietzsche classics and have a strong interest in dissenting with their parents or something similar. I would not call that nihilism, though, anymore than I would call most types of running away from home at that age "setting out on an epic, adventurous journey". It may coincide, but typically it's just a chosen, thin film of pretense over entirely different motivations.

That said, I think that (a) people's preoccupation with furries, television, and other perversities is a huge sign of omnipresent boredom. It may be called faith, but I don't think that is a particularly good denominator for what such preoccupations entail; and that (b) that boredom might be taken as a sign of the onset of nihilism -- in a weak sense.

That's how nihilism and sexual perversities might be seen as related, I guess. Ofcourse, a comparison between a fondness of furry fanfics and faith in scientology might make an even better case, when we're talking of anomalous perversity...
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Tabun ?Morituri Nolumus Mori?
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« Reply #16 on: 2007-11-22, 17:25 »

Well, whatever it may be, I got you to type a reply longer than a few sentences.  You've been too quiet of late.  Slipgate - Tongue

Now regarding fan fiction, I've not really been exposed to much myself beyond what's in this thread, not counting a few parody screenshots we've done for Generations, though I have run across some of the more disagreeable kind of "art" on the net while surfing here and there.  I'm not quite convinced it's simple boredom.  Consider that in this day there are more available distractions for the bored human than in ages past.  There's no end to the flood of electronic gadgetry, television programming, books, toys (for both adults and youth).  Before the invention of modern electronics what was there to do?  There was still plenty in the form of chores, and games, though such games tended to be more physical, and toys were more physical, and the work was certainly more physical.  Perhaps the "boredom" is not of the mind, but of the body?  As activity becomes less physical, and the mind overwhelmed with stimulus and the body less so, that excess manifests itself.  The visceralness of existence is removed, and so the mind imagines very strange visceral things.

There is an old proverb about idle hands allowing the devil in.  While I would not equate all strange fantasy with devilry, I can certainly tell that there are still taboos well rooted within the human psyche that stir a sense of revulsion when they are brought forward and portrayed, yet it is a visceral response to lines and color on paper or pixel.  Yet I wonder, how different is this from someone having a "gross-out" moment over zombie cannibalism in Doom 3?  I'm reminded of the phrase "you laugh, it works" which was painted on the blood splattered walls.  It is, after all, in both cases nothing but colored dots on a cathode ray tube or LCD grid array, yet the form, and what it implies, is what is reacted to, and the reaction is certainly visceral and tangible.  Now I'm sure some psychologist or biologist somewhere will explain it away as some latent survival mechanism, whatever, but what is not explained is why so many people take pleasure in what has until recently been labeled obscene.  From my experience, perversion has existed more in the realms of the kings and aristocracy than the base peasantry.  While the farmer may turn to his animals to fill some need, the king can do so simply because he is king, and simply because it is taboo.  That is not to say all peasants are honest nor all kings perverse, but it seems to me that the removal of limiting factors plays a large part in the differences in behavior.  The peasant is afraid of condemnation by the parish priest, or other villagers, for fulfilling a simple biological need, while the king is afraid of nothing for he is king.  So perhaps then what we see is that this tendency to be drawn to otherwise repulsive things is not so rare or unusual in the human animal, but instead has simply been more secretive in the past.  As social barriers of acceptable behavior are more and more removed, then the remaining barriers become pressed upon even harder.

I do wonder where the line is to be drawn.  One person may say they do not want to see or hear certain things on television or radio or in public that is OK to someone else, yet even that next person has some limits they do not want crossed, and ironically they will invariably see the first individual as simply "old fashioned" or "too much of a prude", yet they will react in much the same manner as the first when their own boundaries of acceptability are pressed upon.  I wonder then, how much of the perverse side of fan fiction is an anomaly, and how much is an accurate reflection of suppressed human tendencies?  It is a strange thing you are for certain.  I can understand why Freud was so quick to dismiss everything as rooted in sex, though I think he was wrong and always have.  I think it is just a more obvious expression of a deeper, more broad underlying tendency for excess in all things.
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Kajet
 

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« Reply #17 on: 2007-11-25, 03:50 »

I think part of the "sexual excess" comes from a random artist who after surfing the net long enough thinks "wow... people will fap to anything" and decides to make up something so bizarre and freaky that most of the people who see it are freaked out.

And another part (i think) could be balance, a perverted yin & yang if you will, while there's people doing all sorts of perverted things they're there to offset the prudish people, those who went ape-shit after that 5-second (if that) jackson nipple slip, the people who've decried anything and everything sexual as evil (yet usually these people have kids... hypocrites)

Neither of those sides are good IMO, a world of S&M bondage laden adults won't be better or worse than the emotional sporkery someone who is going through puberty can experience.

Unfortunately when it comes to balance humanity is worse off than a drunk.
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Lopson
 

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« Reply #18 on: 2007-11-25, 21:15 »

Unfortunately when it comes to balance humanity is worse off than a drunk.

A widely-known fact.
Tab, believe me when I say to you this: Sonic is full of crap like that. I've been in the Sonic scene for a while now, and I know what I'm talking about. For instance, here's a great example of a true Sonic fan.


Quote from: Sonic CulT
Awhile ago, on the forum, I changed the name of banned users from something aking to "dumbshit" to "true sonic fans" but up to this day I never realized how accurate that was. Theres this girl who goes by the alias of "s0nicfreak", and she just broke every possible limit of idiocy I ever saw. Highlights of her tale:

- Running a sonic related torrent site (that gradually turned into oink lite and was a haven for fanboys of Ogg Vorbis, an audio format that nobody uses)
- Above site got busted by the MPAA and she fled to mexico (!!!!)
- Posted 120x120 crappy digicam pics of her genitalia
- While fleeing, she tried to get money by auctioning her panties on the forum
- When that failed, she made a living by being her boyfriends whore
- Managed to get knocked up in the process
- Claimed that she'll name her kid after Yuji Naka

Up so far I disregarded her as some attention whore with a crappy digicam, you know, the kind you see in 4chan /b/ except for the crappy digicam and every so often they actually get creative. So in actually, "s0nicfreak" is something thats even worse than a 4chan /b/ camwhore.

But, the mantrain doesnt stop there, her latest entry being:

ACTUALLY NAMING THE KID YUJI NAKA!
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Phoenix
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« Reply #19 on: 2007-11-26, 01:31 »

I'm not sure I understand this all correctly.  Do you mean to say that this is typical of fans of the Sonic games, or is this just the strangest extreme of bizarre zealotry?
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