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Author Topic: Absurdity Squared (What's next?)  (Read 10978 times)
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Phoenix
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« on: 2005-05-27, 16:07 »

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4581871.stm
Quote
A&E doctors are calling for a ban on long pointed kitchen knives to reduce deaths from stabbing....The researchers said there was no reason for long pointed knives to be publicly available at all.

They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen.

None of the chefs felt such knives were essential, since the point of a short blade was just as useful when a sharp end was needed.
To quote Will Smith, "You know, somehow 'I told you so' just doesn't cut it."  Guns were just the start.  What else will they decide that you don't "need", hmm?
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Tabun
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« Reply #1 on: 2005-05-27, 16:13 »

I think we need handgrenades. Not nescessarily in the kitchen ofcourse...
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Tabun ?Morituri Nolumus Mori?
scalliano
 

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« Reply #2 on: 2005-05-27, 20:38 »

Stepladders. I saw Jackie Chan take on about 10 guys with one in a movie once.
« Last Edit: 2005-05-27, 20:40 by scalliano » Logged

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Angst
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« Reply #3 on: 2005-05-27, 21:21 »

I don't know whether I should fall down laughing, or just stand here appalled..

A weapon is any device used to inflict harm. It doesn't matter WHAT it is. Removing availability simply causes the individual in question to find something else. What's next? forks? hammers? if you really want to hurt someone, you can use just about anything at hand.

Replacing everything that COULD be used as a weapon with a nerf equivalent suddenly seems viable..

Welcome to the world of Fisher-Price.
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NovAReapeR
 

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« Reply #4 on: 2005-05-27, 21:49 »

Lmfao. personally, i think we need headcrabs. LONG LOVE HALF-LIFE!!!
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Moshman
 
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Yarg!

« Reply #5 on: 2005-05-27, 23:00 »

The government wants control over the people. Simple. Liberistic ideas favor more government in people's lives. I jist want to live my life, not bow down to the government for scraps of my own money, while opression is taking place. I can't take it. What, ban plastic forks?
"We've got a 1543 guys"
"whats's a 1543?
"Possession of a plastic butter knife. Arm yourselves men!"

 Slipgate - Off Topic  Hwey Nova how'd you get a custom title?
« Last Edit: 2005-05-27, 23:01 by Little Washu » Logged

NovAReapeR
 

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« Reply #6 on: 2005-05-27, 23:24 »

I didnt choose it lol, i was given it :O    Slipgate - Off Topic
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Thomas Mink
 

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« Reply #7 on: 2005-05-27, 23:50 »

Baseball bats are often used in crimes. I think a nationwide ban would be appropriate. Baseball players, fans, and employees might not like it, but that's the price paid for reducing crime in the nation.
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shambler
 
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« Reply #8 on: 2005-05-28, 00:13 »

Apparently, most shark attacks happen in water.

I think it should be banned too.
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Woodsman
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« Reply #9 on: 2005-05-28, 03:31 »

A strong man can brake a persons neck with his bare hands. Better ban hands.
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Lopson
 

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« Reply #10 on: 2005-05-28, 10:55 »

I think we should ban gravity. IT MAKES US FALL ON THE FLOOR AND HURT OURSELVES. And chickens. Their sound is harmful to...hidrogen (is this right?).

"OH NO THE NUKE IS ABOUT TO BLOW!!!"
"Don't worry men, i HAVE A CHICKEN!"
"Hurray we're saved!"
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Thomas Mink
 

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« Reply #11 on: 2005-05-28, 21:33 »

"Fill the cracks in, with judicial granite.. Because I don't say it, don't mean I ain't thinkin' it. Next thing you know they'll take my thoughts away." - Megadeth -- Holy Wars... The Punishment Due

"You take a mortal man / And put him in control / Watch him become a god / Watch peoples' heads a roll... a roll... a rolllllllllllll... / Just like the Pied Piper, led rats through the streets / We dance like the marionettes, swayin' to the symphony... of destruction" - Megadeth -- Symphony of Destruction
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Phoenix
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« Reply #12 on: 2005-05-29, 03:34 »

I have a better song to quote.

Do you see what I see?
Truth is an offence
You silence for your confidence

Do you hear what I hear?
Doors are slamming shut
Limit your imagination, keep you where they must

Do you feel what I feel?
Bittering distress
Who decides what you express?

So you take what I take?
Endurance is the word
Moving back instead of forward seems to be absurd

Doesn't matter what you see
Or into it what you read
You can do it your own way
If it's done how I say

Independence limited
Freedom of choice is made for you my friend
Freedom of speech is words that they will bend
Freedom with their exception

Do you fear what I fear?
Living properly
Truths to you are to me

Do you choose what I choose?
More alternatives
Energy derives from both the plus and negative

Do you need what I need?
Boundaries overthrown
Look inside, to each his own

So you trust what I trust?
Me, myself and I
Penetrate the smoke screen, I see through the selfish lie

Doesn't matter what you see
Or into it what you read
You can do it your own way
If it's done how I say

Independence limited
Freedom of choice is made for you my friend
Freedom of speech is words that they will bend
Freedom with their exception

Do you know what I know?
Your money and your wealth
You silence just to hear yourself

Do you want what I want?
Desire not a thing
I hunger after independence, lengthen freedom's ring

Doesn't matter what you see
Or into it what you read
You can do it your own way
If it's done how I say

Independence limited
Freedom of choice is made for you my friend
Freedom of speech is words that they will bend
Freedom no longer frees you

Doesn't matter what you see
Or into it what you read
You can do it your own way
If it's done how I say
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Thomas Mink
 

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« Reply #13 on: 2005-05-29, 17:37 »

Slipgate - Off Topic
Ahhh... how I miss the old Metallica... Slipgate - Smile
Slipgate - Off Topic
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"Everybody's got a price" - 'The Million Dollar Man' Ted DiBiase
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