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Author Topic: This Sex-addicted Society (Damn you all!)  (Read 8922 times)
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Lopson
 

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« on: 2006-04-05, 22:44 »

OK, this is a somewhat irritating topic (for me at least), but bare with me. There seems to be some pretty weird rules nowadays among the young people. Rules like "Must have Girlfriend/Boyfriend by the age of 14", "Must have sex by the age of 18" & "Must forget about love & care about sex". Here's my oppinion: FIRST of all, most young teenagers don't understand what a relationship is! They see them (the relationships) as a way to make sex. It seems that everyone has forgotten that sex was once called "The act to make love". And why do teenagers need a Girlfriend/Boyfriend at such young ages? I bet that they don't even know how to love, so how can they maintain a relationship? I have seen many relationships lasting a week, and the only thing that would and comes to my head in these cases is "DUH?". They just want to make PDA (Public Demonstrations of Affection), but hey, guess what, there is no affection in those relationships.
I thought that there were various degrees in a relationship of this Nature. Like, first you need to know the person very well, then you can move on to the kissing, and then you can make love in order to reach the peak of the relationship.

Maybye it's because I'm a nerd that I never had a girlfriend, or maybye it's because there is noone serious enough at my age to understand this. And maybye being a nerd made me a gentleman, or maybye it was my education that made me a gentleman. But still, do you or do you not agree with me?
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Phoenix
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« Reply #1 on: 2006-04-05, 23:21 »

Expect a very diverse set of responses, as this may draw some very strong and disparate opinions.

For the most part, yes you are right.  Traditional courships and marriages seem to be a thing of the past.  As for age, well, some will say people married off at ages of 14 and 16 in ye olde days, but people also lived much shorter lives so that's not really a fair comparison to the last century or so.  I think sex is so overly promoted in this day because it's the most effective marketing tool in existence.  Since sex is no longer a "taboo" subject it's gone the opposite extreme - you cannot escape it anywhere.  Advertisements carry sexual undertones.  "Buy this product and you'll get sex with someone".  It's not spoken outright, but the message is clear when you see a commercial for a mens' aftershave and some female in lingerie is crawling all over this muscular male.  The sad thing is so much of it works.  How many suckers buy herbal "male enhancement" supplements like Enzyte, etc?

I find it all distasteful and vulgar myself.  Sex is not an expression of love or even an act of procreation for humans now.  It's become a game, and people are used as toys for fulfilling each others lusts.  Love is something forgotten, its meaning lost amidst the shallow fast living and cheap throw-away attitudes.  Humans don't respect each other, and so they use each other all the time.

I would say for yourself, be glad you understand that things can and should be different.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that you're being too "old fashioned" or living in the past.  Don't ever let those who would pressure you to be like them suck you down to their level.  Be content that you're standards are higher, and seek out others who hold to similar standards.
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Tabun
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« Reply #2 on: 2006-04-05, 23:26 »

First of all, that's a wonderful Freudian slip in the first sentence of your post. Kudos!

Secondly, this might well turn out to become a CC-topic, but you never know which way it goes.

Thirdly, a response.
I agree that there's weird shit going on. I'm reading more about special 'gangbang' parties, where girls have sex with a group of boys they've never met. Sometimes they seem to do this in trade for booze, sometimes just for a ride, often for status. I've also heard of the 'blowjob-competitions' that were (are?) popular at US frat parties. Frankly, I think it's silly and pointless, more than anything else. On top of that, it's dangerous.

What an 'act of love' is, I'm not able to decide for anyone else. For me, it's very much dependent on the context. I'm sure there are people out there ready to give their strict definition of it, but not me. I certainly have my limits though, even if a bit of fun between the sheets with no strings attached is not out of the question.

In the good old days, when I was a wee lad like yourself ;], I was pretty serious too. No fun at all though, so that wasn't much good either. I guess the 'middle of the road' is still a good place to be walkin'. But hey, I'm no casanova, and maybe a 'nerd'-forum isn't the best place to be asking? :]
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Tabun ?Morituri Nolumus Mori?
Lopson
 

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« Reply #3 on: 2006-04-05, 23:36 »

I'm not asking anything, expect for an answer, and I'm glad to see that there are more people who share my point of view in this matter, although I'd love to hear other positions on this matter. (even though there are only a few). And yes Tab, obviously the act of "making love" doesn't resume itself to sex.

EDIT : I will never lower my standarts to have some fun. I think that what I have to offer cannot be wasted on someone that does not correspond to my person.
« Last Edit: 2006-04-05, 23:42 by [KruzadeR] » Logged

Thomas Mink
 

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« Reply #4 on: 2006-04-06, 02:21 »

Love is lost to all but a select few these days... in this area anyway. Even when I'm at work listening to people talk, it sickens me.. altho they ARE honest at least. They don't want someone to love and care about.. they don't want to put up with that relationship shit.. they just want a f***buddy.

Personally, my views on the subject are much the same as your own. I have to love somebody and care about who they are... someone who also shares the same views as myself on the subject, or at least have a respectable view themselves. I didn't even think such a person existed until a little over a year ago.. and I must say, it's the best feeling in the world to actually know you are loved.

I've been known to type long rants about this subject on my LJ, and about how I want the world to suffer because of it... but I'll actually spare this one.
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Moshman
 
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« Reply #5 on: 2006-04-06, 14:07 »

For once I have to agree with Tabun on this. Everything in life should have a balance. I don't like it when people preach of  "Sex is evil an immoral" same with people who preach "wild orgies or bust".

People now days have no sense of self control. After all we live in a society where the truth is relative, so of course shit like this is bound to happen and it's just going to get worse.
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games keeper
 

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« Reply #6 on: 2006-04-06, 20:43 »

Quote
Must have Girlfriend/Boyfriend by the age of 14"
don't have that

Quote
"Must have sex by the age of 18" & "Must forget about love & care about sex"

well , this is actually funny , I don't have a relationship with a girl.
But I do have lots of girls , and the fun part is they know about eachother. Slipgate - Laugh

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Thomas Mink
 

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« Reply #7 on: 2006-04-06, 21:30 »

So GK and Plague are whores.. awesome!

omg name calling... oh noes!

Whatever
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SIN Plague
 
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« Reply #8 on: 2006-04-06, 23:08 »

hey... I have an excuse... ima late bloomer... I can be as whorish as I choose!
 Slipgate - Ownage


besides.. we all know GK is lying... he doesn't know any girls... heh
 <3
« Last Edit: 2006-04-06, 23:16 by SIN Plague » Logged
Kajet
 

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« Reply #9 on: 2006-04-07, 00:26 »

Well when you get to the point of... whatever relationships have turned into, the only difference that i can see is how you got to where you are.

So would you rather feel completely alone and isolated in a sinking pit of despair because you've humped anything that moves and not formed any kind of lasting relationship...

OR!  would like to feel completely alone and isolated in a sinking pit of despair because unlike the many people you see you at least try to have some respect for your fellow humans and refuse to treat anyone as a (CENSORED) warmer and actually want some sort of lasting meaning experience?

so yep either way joo are pwnt, thats life no one said it didn't suck
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Phoenix
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« Reply #10 on: 2006-04-07, 03:48 »

Or instead of being so damned negative, perhaps actually try to make a life together and weather the storms, "for better or for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death you do part"?

Oh, why do I bother!  Maybe I'm just kidding myself thinking that maybe, just maybe people can understand what it means to be committed to someone else and have them committed to you.  Everyone's so convinced it can't happen, well maybe you're right!  Who am I to tell people what love is?  After all, I'm just a dumb animal, so go on and live your "enlightened" and "free" lives however you wish.
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Thomas Mink
 

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« Reply #11 on: 2006-04-07, 05:04 »

Quote from: Phoenix
Maybe I'm just kidding myself thinking that maybe, just maybe people can understand what it means to be committed to someone else and have them committed to you.
I understand completely, and I agree with your post fully as well. I think I'm one of the lucky ones who found someone who also understands. Odd thing is tho.. up until September of last year, I didn't think it could happen.. but.. it did, and I'm glad it did. I'm looking forward to many years...

Might have to become Canadian or something tho.. but, hey.
« Last Edit: 2006-04-07, 05:07 by ~SpAwN~ » Logged

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Kajet
 

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« Reply #12 on: 2006-04-07, 07:14 »

Uh I was trying to point out that both "methods" of life have thier downside... it's just when you feel that way is different

while i can't say i've experienced anything well... positive in the more romantic or physical sence i do believe in your all encompassing, understanding, and forgiving, and all together "perfect" love dispite not yet having found someone to share such feelings with... but hopefully sometime soon i'll find someone who'd forsake all others for me as i would for them...

but enough of my rambling i don't think i've seen anyone who doubts their mate and so cheats on them, but rather people who get confused as to who their heart is with and goes off and screws someone they think(?) they love.

and i think thats more than enough from me
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Kain-Xavier
 

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« Reply #13 on: 2006-04-07, 10:17 »

I agree with Tabun's third point, but I still have a little something I'd like to bring to the table...

I think there is more sexuality in society for three (poorly supported) reasons.

1.)  I feel the internet helps people overcome social stigmatisms.  Some of it may be bad, some of it may be good, but the internet is a part of our day-to-day culture.  Younger people assume it's a given technology much like people from older generations assume TV's and automobiles are a given technology.

2.)  The AID's and STD's scare has come and passed.  This is both unnerving and enjoyable to me.  

Back in the late 1980's and early 1990's the AID's scare was huge!  I remember my mom and I being questioned by several security guards for giving some guy at a Halloween spook-house a raspberry, (I stuck my tongue out him and made a whoopie-coushin-like noise.)  They were afraid I had AID's.  (Florida has the highest AID's rate in the US or at least it did when I lived there.)

Fortunately, you don't hear of too many people getting AID's anymore.  Unfortunately, that still doesn't make one exempt.  I don't really have a problem with people who engage in private sex parties, but they damn well better be prepared for the risks.  Too many people think it'll happen to the "other guy."  You are everbody-else-on-the-planet's other guy!  That's 5,999,999,999 people who think you'll get AID's instead of them.

Other STD's have also become somewhat laughable.  Most have warning signs, some are curable, most if not all are treatable.  Too many people also have a carefree attitude about this.  I'd wager that most people afflicted with STD's other than AID's don't even bother to tell their partners about it.

3.)  Pregnancy takes an operation to fix.

If people have more abortions, the price to get an abortion will drop unless the amount of abortion clinics can not meet the demand.  (Note: I am neither for or against abortions.)
« Last Edit: 2006-04-07, 10:30 by Kain-Xavier » Logged

Moshman
 
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Yarg!

« Reply #14 on: 2006-04-07, 15:24 »

Kain is dead on to this. People not only want to have more sex, but they want to advocate all the consquences of it. I really don't know, after all, I'm just a dumb animal. Slipgate - Wink
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shambler
 
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« Reply #15 on: 2006-04-07, 17:50 »

Who lives the longest? people who get regular sex, or those who don't?

Nuns or Rockstars?

KNow which I'd rather be.
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Phoenix
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« Reply #16 on: 2006-04-08, 06:12 »

AIDS scare over?  Hardly.  Now I know this is one city, and one demographic, but consider this, regardless of thoughts on sexual orientation.  You have people who are infected, who lead very sexually promiscuous lives.  Estimates are that one out of four of these are infected, and those are the ones who are being upfront about it.  This city also claims to be a model for a more "progressive" society, so for those who prefer this over a more traditional and conservative society, take a good look because you're seeing the future of social progressivism/liberalism.

Now expand this to different demographics.  Lets take a heterosexual population in a large city.  How many are infected?  How many know if they are?  How many are honest about it?  See, that's your problem, you don't know if that person you're taking to bed is honest or not.  If they're being adulterous, you know they're already as dishonest as you can possibly get, betraying a trust that they swore an oath to uphold.  So that's the risk you take.  Now consider this, for those of you who get "tested often".  Let's say you sleep around and manage to sleep with a statistic.  Then you sleep with four other people before the test comes back positive - remember, it takes time for infections to manifest and become detectible.  First off, you don't know when you got it.  Second, you've already killed 4 people in the process.

That's right, I said you killed them.  AIDS is fatal.  It's slow, yes, but it is still 100% lethal.  If you wouldn't kill someone by walking up to them and shooting them with a shotgun, why would you do it this way?  Dead is dead, and you're still responsible for ending that person's life.  I wonder if anyone who lives loosely stops and thinks of the damage they can do.  I know when it comes to drinking and driving a large number of people do not stop to think.  They value their booze more than other people's lives.  I don't see this kind of irresponsibility any differently.  The only difference is if you negligently run someone over while drunk you're criminally liable for homicide.  They don't jail people for negligently spreading a fatal disease.

People in this modern world think of biblical concepts of marriage and sex as restrictive and dictatorial.  I look at it this way.  I think God in His wisdom wrote such principles to try to protect people from themselves and from these diseases.  A married couple who retains monogamy can share both love of the spirit, and sexual pleasures without the fear or risk of a life-ending or life-shattering disease.  You build a life together, you share the joys of watching children grow and leave the nest, you grow old together.  You share your life in a kind of intimacy that you will never, ever know any other way.  Why people desire differently I will never understand, and frankly I don't think I ever want to.
« Last Edit: 2006-04-08, 06:13 by Phoenix » Logged


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Thomas Mink
 

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« Reply #17 on: 2006-04-08, 06:25 »

I think of marriage as something else (bogus?), but that's a different topic all together. I do, however, fully believe and support monogamy.
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« Reply #18 on: 2006-04-10, 10:56 »

Quote
  Who lives the longest? people who get regular sex, or those who don't?

Nuns or Rockstars?
 

wel , I already lok like a rockstar...
but other then the sex and hair , I dont do drugs, I don't drink a lot (females don't like drunk people )


BTW , rather a short life filled up with al the good stuff of life then a long life that is boring as hell .
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Thomas Mink
 

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« Reply #19 on: 2006-04-10, 21:37 »

Quote from: games keeper
BTW , rather a short life filled up with al the good stuff of life then a long life that is boring as hell .
The classic response that everybody in the modern world uses. Hey.. you're missing out on 'all the good stuff' by passing up drugs and alcohol abuse. Why stop with only sex? If you want a 'short life' that has 'all the good stuff', by all means.. go ahead and do drugs and get drunk! Your life is more boring without it, you know.
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