This so-called... "teacher"... needs to go back to penmanship class.
And stop berating innocent children, who are innocent, on the internet.
He will burninate.

"When you stand near trees, they will be knocked down by lightning and you will be killed by lightning!  There is no escape."   :lol:

You just have to admire some people for how rediculously ballsy they are.  Reading through this essay, I'm reminded of a lot of my own essays, especially in middle school.  I would meet all the teacher's criteria in the first few sentences and then completely make the story my own.  I wasn't nearly as direct or incorrent as he was however.

I'm not trying to compare the two, but I'd like to share something with you all.  Attached, is a copy of an analytical essay I had to write for my English IV Honors class in high school.  The essay is on William Golding's "Lord of The Flies" and its symbolism.  The teacher allowed us to use first person narrative.  Tell me what you think.  I have more like this one.

LMFAO CON!!! omfg thats one of the best essays ive ever read... i remember lord of the flies... haha

HA! I used to write like this kid back in the forth grade (with better structure and grammar mind you). I used to write essays about how I would proceed with world domination and how I would rule you all with an iron fist. Funny thing is, the topic would be "what did you do during your X-mas break"...