Wirehead Studios

General Discussion => Rants and Randomness => Topic started by: Phoenix on 2020-03-19, 04:19



Title: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2020-03-19, 04:19
I love puns and bad jokes, and the mood needs to be lightened a bit with all this virus gloom and... er...  If you can think of any or know any post them here.  Use the spoiler tag on the answers for best results (and groans).  Here's a few to get us started:

How was BJ able to assassinate Hitler?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do you call a demon laughing uncontrollably?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What's Ranger's favorite dessert?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)



Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Orbital-S2D on 2020-03-28, 17:07
wermp wermp wermp


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Kain-Xavier on 2020-05-10, 00:18
What did the Wretch say to the Slayer after handing him the Praetor suit?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why did the Lost Soul cross the road?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What's the DOOM Slayer's favorite drink?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why did the Icon of Sin take a nap?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2020-05-10, 09:18
Great ones, Kain! :D

What did the Archvile say when the Doom Slayer used the Flame Belch on him?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do the demons call a Hell Knight wearing a suit and tie?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why is the Icon of Sin so damned big?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And finally...

How do Revenants play the trumpet with no lips?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Kain-Xavier on 2020-05-10, 11:04
Nice!  You just inspired a few more from me. :p

Why do Carcasses have trouble making friends?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why are Scrags so angry?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What happened to the Summoner?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why did the RoE Marine shoot the Imp?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What is Biker's favorite song?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Kain-Xavier on 2020-05-10, 21:00
I didn't mean to double-post but I can't edit my last one.  Here are some more jokes:

Why does the Quake II marine hate Grunt?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do Stroggs love to eat?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2020-05-10, 21:46
Double-post away, my friend!  :slippy_love:


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2020-05-11, 00:33
Why does BJ get sick after eating?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What does the Mancubus think about the Doom Slayer?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

BJ, Quakeguy, and Doom Slayer walk into a bar.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Who else could have defeated the Khan Maykr?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What did the Doom Slayer name his ship?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do you get if you put a Cacodemon next to a Pain Elemental?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Kain-Xavier on 2020-05-13, 05:53
What do you get if you put a Cacodemon next to a Pain Elemental?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I would post a picture of a Cacodemon laughing but the internet's failing me at the moment.  Here's a few more jokes I came up with instead. :D

What did the Pinky say to the Nightmare Spectre?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What's the best way to install VIOS?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What happened to the Sawcubus's hand?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2020-05-24, 22:54
How do demons send messages?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Which Maykr is first up in the morning?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How do demons run programs?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What did Quakeguy say to the Dopefish?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why did the Q2 grunt get banned from the message board?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2020-06-13, 03:14
Not my joke, but someone recording a Doom Eternal playthrough referred to the Carcass as "The Donald Trump of Demons... who keeps building walls in front of me instead of Mexico."  I just about fell over.   :D


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Woodsman on 2020-06-17, 17:28
I'm working on doom maps these days, once i have 10 or so I'm going to blow a huge .wad


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2020-06-17, 23:34
I'm looking forward to playing what you're making!  :doom_thumb:


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Woodsman on 2020-06-18, 04:19
This is a video of an earlier version of my first completed map. I've find tuned it signifigantly since. If you give me your email address i can send you the wad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VMbVotCsH8


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2020-06-19, 03:07
Sent you a PM with the email address.  :doom_thumb:


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Kajet on 2020-07-12, 05:00
If you complete a set of levels in DooM quickly does that mean you've blown a .wad?


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Woodsman on 2020-07-13, 23:48
i don't think it has to be quickly


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2020-07-14, 03:22
The only thing they fear...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2020-07-14, 03:29
(http://forums.wireheadstudios.org/Themes/Wirehead/images/post/bj.gif) Terror Billy. (https://meredithkurz.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/gun-and-goat2.jpg) (http://forums.wireheadstudios.org/Themes/Wirehead/images/post/bj.gif)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2020-07-14, 03:42
Also...
Pinkie Demon (https://i.ytimg.com/vi/l6EOL8LQzPI/hqdefault.jpg)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Kain-Xavier on 2021-09-10, 04:59
I've been playing the Quake remaster, and I'm feeling particularly inspired.

Where does Ranger buy all of his electronics from?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do you call a Quake minion that won't shut up?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What kind of porn do Ogres like?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why is DOOM eternal?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why can't DOOM guy take a nap?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2021-09-10, 06:55
What kind of porn do Ogres like?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh hell, you went there.  O_o


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Kain-Xavier on 2021-09-10, 18:07
Oh hell, you went there.  O_o
Thy Flesh Consumed. ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2021-09-10, 22:27
They shall repent!


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2021-09-10, 23:41
What's the name of the drug that they pump grunts full of?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What game do they play in the Dimension of the Doomed?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Where do ogres go to get clothes that fit?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What's Shub's favorite holiday?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If the Maykr dimension conquered Hell's Fortress, what would you get?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Kain-Xavier on 2021-09-12, 19:08
Where do ogres go to get clothes that fit?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Is it from this, https://www.doomworld.com/forum/topic/70862-x-mas-nightmare-versions/ ?

What game do they play in the Dimension of the Doomed?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
You beautiful bird-breasted bastard, now I want to play this!  ^_^

Here's what I'm thinking:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2021-09-12, 22:07
Is it from this, https://www.doomworld.com/forum/topic/70862-x-mas-nightmare-versions/ ?
Nope!  Good guess though.  :smirk:

Quote
You beautiful bird-breasted bastard, now I want to play this!  ^_^

Here's what I'm thinking:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why, thank you.  :slippy_love:

That does sound kind of fun.  Also...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Kain-Xavier on 2021-09-15, 02:00
To stay vaguely on-topic:

What happened to Wrack?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And now for the stuff I actually want to talk about. :p

Where do ogres go to get clothes that fit?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Are you referencing this (https://web.archive.org/web/19980204054316/http://idsoftware.com/shopping/index.html)?  I stumbled across id Software's GitHub and their WinQuake repository contains a text file (https://github.com/id-Software/Quake/blob/master/WinQuake/data/ORDER.TXT) which mentions it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2021-09-15, 05:45
YES!  You win the points!  Though... there' not worth anything, but that's correct.  :slippy_thumb:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Kain-Xavier on 2021-09-16, 04:06
YES!  You win the points!  Though... there' not worth anything, but that's correct.  :slippy_thumb:
Hooray, now I can finally pay my student lo--oh, wait.  #ThatMillenialLife  :slippy_thumb:

Quote from: Phoenix
If you ditch the bases it basically becomes Qball (Q1) or Catch the Chicken (from Q2).
I never realized that's what both of those mods were.  Nice to see that the idea persisted between games.  The PS2 version of Quake III Arena had a similar mode as well.

Now back to spoiler town.  (...unless you're cool with dropping them?)

Quote from: Phoenix
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes
Post by: Phoenix on 2021-09-16, 06:10
Spoiler (click to show/hide)