Monday, September 25th, 2007
I went to school and met up with Chad, a friend from my acting class two semesters ago. (I have no aspirations to be an actor. I needed the credits, and I found acting to be far more effective at developing my public speaking skills than actually taking a public speaking class.) He wanted to see more of the area (he's still new to AZ,) and he offered to drive if I would be his guide.
We checked out Lee Lee's Oriental Supermarket in Chandler, AZ as neither of us had been there. The place is sporking awesome with food spanning from all of Asia and various countries in South America. I bought
Goya coconut soda, Iron Beer soda, canned
jackfruit, a fresh
durian, chips made from
plantains,
mangosteen juice, and Indian potato snacks. (The total only came to $16!) Apparently, Chad is quite the fan of coconut so most of the items he purchased were derived from that fruit.
From there, we went to a nearby Indian restaurant we found while searching for Lee Lee's. (It's called Curry House: Flavor of India if you're curious.) Truth be told, I had never eaten Indian food before so I wasn't certain of what to expect. However, I have to say I was pleasantly surprised.
Besides never having tried Indian food before, I decided to try lamb for the first time (lamb
biryani more specifically.) While lamb is no substitute for beef, it's delicious none-the-less. I can't believe more people don't eat lamb here in the USA; the meat doesn't taste gamy at all. In fact, it tastes like a pleasant cross between chicken and beef.
After the food, we stopped off at
Bookman's where I obtained a copy of Hexen: Deathkings of the Dark Citadel. (I only need Hexen 2: Portal of Praevus now to complete my collection of the Hexen/Heretic series.) Chad picked up Carmageddon 2 and several PC adventure titles.
From there, we went to see Resident Evil: Extinction as I had planned on seeing the movie, and I offered to pay Chad's way in. The film wasn't nearly as good as the 2nd, but it had a lot of good horror moments like the 1st. Afterwards, we stopped back off at school and I headed home.
But wait, it doesn't stop there...
The previous events have all been leading up to this point: the sole purpose of my day off was to obtain a durian. Ever since I learned of the fruit's existence, it has been a minor goal of mine to taste one. After many years of passively searching, I can finally cross it off my list and warn any who seek the "king of all fruits."
Durians have a strong odor. (They smell like human genitalia.) However, the odor is rather subdued when frozen and/or left unopen. Opened durians are another story. As you cut away at the spiky shell, you are greeted by increasing levels of funk (think of each level as an additional day of going without bathing.) It's not gag-inducing mind, but it's still unpleasant. The taste is... well... another matter entirely.
What you smell cannot possibly prepare you for what you taste; it's far more rancid than that. (Think unbathed, human genitalia that has begun to rot.) Besides the assault on your olfactory and
gustatory systems, durians have a seriously funky thing going on texture-wise. Parts of the "flesh" have a consistency similar to that of an egg white cooked "sunny-side-up," while the rest is akin to eating a mango. (Think mango-stuffed, unbathed, human genitalia that has begun to rot.)
So the "king of all fruits" bested me. The taste was so revolting that I gagged on the tiniest sliver of the fruit. I forced myself to try it again, this time with a larger sample, but I just could not muster the strength to chew let alone swallow.
I know now the full extent of the torture
Andrew Zimmern endured. Durians are one of the few things Andrew is unable to stand the taste of. This is coming from a man who will eat just about any organ from just about any animal.
But wait it still doesn't stop there...
While at home, I discovered the Indian potato snacks I purchased contained monosodium glutamate to which I am mildly allergic. Unfortunately, I discovered this after sampling the snack so I'm running a bit of a fever right now. I'll deal; MSG has nothing on the Italian rose petal
soda I imbibed a while back.
I also learned that my girlfriend Ashley fell down some stairs while at work today. She injured her arm pretty badly but nothing appears to be broken. (She's going to the doctor tomorrow.) Even though we're over two thousand miles apart from one another, I feel horrible for not being home when she called to tell me the news...
Made it this far? Good, here's where I'm going with all of this...
1.) Treasure your friends and family. You never know when you'll get to see them next.
2.) Don't be afraid to try new things.*
* Avoid durians and anything you're allergic to.
