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DW THE SUBTITLE SAYS
common....make us laugh.....if you can

and sorry to say this but you couldnt this time

true true

Did you hear about the french Kamakazi pilot who flew 43 missions?

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured an English Major. Taking the Major to their headquarters, the French General began to question him.

The French General asked, "Why do you English Officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"

In his bland English way, the Major informed the general that the reason English Officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why from that day until now.. all French Army Officers wear brown pants.

If you want someone willing to make
a fool of himself simply over the joy of
seeing you . . .. . . buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat
whatever you put in front of him and
never says its not quite as good as his
mother made it . . . . . buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing
to go out, at any hour, for as long and
wherever you want . . . .. . . buy a dog.

If you want someone to scare away
burglars, without a lethal weapon which
terrifies you and endangers the lives of
your family and all the neighbors . . .. . .. buy a
dog.

If you want someone who will never
touch the remote, doesn't give a dam about
football, and can sit next to you as you
watch romantic movies . . . . . . buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content
to get up on your bed just to warm your
feet and whom you can push off if he
snores . . . . . . . buy a dog.

If you want someone who never
criticizes what you do, doesn't care if
you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young
or old, with tits or without, who acts as
if every word you say is especially worthy
of listening to, and loves you unconditionally,
perpetually . . . . . . . buy a dog.

But on the other hand If you want
someone who will never come when you
call, ignores you totally when you come
home, leaves hair all over the place, walks
all over you, runs around all night, only
comes home to eat and sleep, and acts
as if your entire existence is solely to ensure
his happiness . . . . . . ..

Then my friend
Buy a cat.

yep thats true . I once had a cat wich you could call and it came home .
you could even led him catch a ball and bring it back .
and a cat you only have to let out and he goes his own way.
a dog is like a baby , you always have to be with him. because .
1)he may not walk alone.
2)he cant go alone for a piss .
3)if you wash them they smell .
4)they make to loud noises and irritate the neigbours .


and by the  way my cat can catch burglars to.
our atleast wake me up to say sombody is in the house .

Three guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator.
While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation.

The first guy says "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know...
Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist."

The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K.Y., you know...
"Double Income, No Kids, Yet."

The third guy says, " I'm a R.U.B, you know...
Rich, Urban, Biker."

They turn to the woman and ask her, "
What are you? "

She replies: " I'm a WIFE, you know...
Wash, Iron, @#%$, Etc."

OH come on...that's been on COmedy Central for weeks now.  We want originality!