2024-03-28, 22:13 *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
 
Pages: [1] 2
  Print  
Author Topic: Bad Doom/Quake Jokes  (Read 20575 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Phoenix
Bird of Fire
 

Team Member
Elite (7.5k+)
*********
Posts: 8805

WWW
« on: 2020-03-19, 04:19 »

I love puns and bad jokes, and the mood needs to be lightened a bit with all this virus gloom and... er...  If you can think of any or know any post them here.  Use the spoiler tag on the answers for best results (and groans).  Here's a few to get us started:

How was BJ able to assassinate Hitler?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do you call a demon laughing uncontrollably?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What's Ranger's favorite dessert?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Logged


I fly into the night, on wings of fire burning bright...
Orbital-S2D
 

Shambler
*****
Posts: 100

RnR Boss

« Reply #1 on: 2020-03-28, 17:07 »

wermp wermp wermp
Logged

GET THAT GUY GET THAT GUY, PEW PEW PEW!
Kain-Xavier
 

Beta Tester
Icon of Sin
***********
Posts: 917

« Reply #2 on: 2020-05-10, 00:18 »

What did the Wretch say to the Slayer after handing him the Praetor suit?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why did the Lost Soul cross the road?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What's the DOOM Slayer's favorite drink?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why did the Icon of Sin take a nap?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged

Phoenix
Bird of Fire
 

Team Member
Elite (7.5k+)
*********
Posts: 8805

WWW
« Reply #3 on: 2020-05-10, 09:18 »

Great ones, Kain! Slipgate - Laugh

What did the Archvile say when the Doom Slayer used the Flame Belch on him?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do the demons call a Hell Knight wearing a suit and tie?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why is the Icon of Sin so damned big?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And finally...

How do Revenants play the trumpet with no lips?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged


I fly into the night, on wings of fire burning bright...
Kain-Xavier
 

Beta Tester
Icon of Sin
***********
Posts: 917

« Reply #4 on: 2020-05-10, 11:04 »

Nice!  You just inspired a few more from me. :p

Why do Carcasses have trouble making friends?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why are Scrags so angry?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What happened to the Summoner?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why did the RoE Marine shoot the Imp?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What is Biker's favorite song?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: 2020-05-10, 11:17 by Kain-Xavier » Logged

Kain-Xavier
 

Beta Tester
Icon of Sin
***********
Posts: 917

« Reply #5 on: 2020-05-10, 21:00 »

I didn't mean to double-post but I can't edit my last one.  Here are some more jokes:

Why does the Quake II marine hate Grunt?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do Stroggs love to eat?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: 2020-05-10, 21:06 by Kain-Xavier » Logged

Phoenix
Bird of Fire
 

Team Member
Elite (7.5k+)
*********
Posts: 8805

WWW
« Reply #6 on: 2020-05-10, 21:46 »

Double-post away, my friend!  Slipgate - Love
Logged


I fly into the night, on wings of fire burning bright...
Phoenix
Bird of Fire
 

Team Member
Elite (7.5k+)
*********
Posts: 8805

WWW
« Reply #7 on: 2020-05-11, 00:33 »

Why does BJ get sick after eating?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What does the Mancubus think about the Doom Slayer?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

BJ, Quakeguy, and Doom Slayer walk into a bar.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Who else could have defeated the Khan Maykr?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What did the Doom Slayer name his ship?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do you get if you put a Cacodemon next to a Pain Elemental?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged


I fly into the night, on wings of fire burning bright...
Kain-Xavier
 

Beta Tester
Icon of Sin
***********
Posts: 917

« Reply #8 on: 2020-05-13, 05:53 »

What do you get if you put a Cacodemon next to a Pain Elemental?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I would post a picture of a Cacodemon laughing but the internet's failing me at the moment.  Here's a few more jokes I came up with instead. Slipgate - Laugh

What did the Pinky say to the Nightmare Spectre?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What's the best way to install VIOS?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What happened to the Sawcubus's hand?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged

Phoenix
Bird of Fire
 

Team Member
Elite (7.5k+)
*********
Posts: 8805

WWW
« Reply #9 on: 2020-05-24, 22:54 »

How do demons send messages?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Which Maykr is first up in the morning?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How do demons run programs?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What did Quakeguy say to the Dopefish?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why did the Q2 grunt get banned from the message board?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged


I fly into the night, on wings of fire burning bright...
Phoenix
Bird of Fire
 

Team Member
Elite (7.5k+)
*********
Posts: 8805

WWW
« Reply #10 on: 2020-06-13, 03:14 »

Not my joke, but someone recording a Doom Eternal playthrough referred to the Carcass as "The Donald Trump of Demons... who keeps building walls in front of me instead of Mexico."  I just about fell over.   Slipgate - Laugh
Logged


I fly into the night, on wings of fire burning bright...
Woodsman
Icon of Booze
 

Beta Tester
Icon of Sin
***********
Posts: 823

« Reply #11 on: 2020-06-17, 17:28 »

I'm working on doom maps these days, once i have 10 or so I'm going to blow a huge .wad
Logged
Phoenix
Bird of Fire
 

Team Member
Elite (7.5k+)
*********
Posts: 8805

WWW
« Reply #12 on: 2020-06-17, 23:34 »

I'm looking forward to playing what you're making!  Doom - Thumbs Up!
Logged


I fly into the night, on wings of fire burning bright...
Woodsman
Icon of Booze
 

Beta Tester
Icon of Sin
***********
Posts: 823

« Reply #13 on: 2020-06-18, 04:19 »

This is a video of an earlier version of my first completed map. I've find tuned it signifigantly since. If you give me your email address i can send you the wad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VMbVotCsH8
Logged
Phoenix
Bird of Fire
 

Team Member
Elite (7.5k+)
*********
Posts: 8805

WWW
« Reply #14 on: 2020-06-19, 03:07 »

Sent you a PM with the email address.  Doom - Thumbs Up!
Logged


I fly into the night, on wings of fire burning bright...
Kajet
 

Vadrigar
*********
Posts: 601

I have no clue what to put here...

« Reply #15 on: 2020-07-12, 05:00 »

If you complete a set of levels in DooM quickly does that mean you've blown a .wad?
Logged
Woodsman
Icon of Booze
 

Beta Tester
Icon of Sin
***********
Posts: 823

« Reply #16 on: 2020-07-13, 23:48 »

i don't think it has to be quickly
Logged
Phoenix
Bird of Fire
 

Team Member
Elite (7.5k+)
*********
Posts: 8805

WWW
« Reply #17 on: 2020-07-14, 03:22 »

The only thing they fear...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged


I fly into the night, on wings of fire burning bright...
Phoenix
Bird of Fire
 

Team Member
Elite (7.5k+)
*********
Posts: 8805

WWW
« Reply #18 on: 2020-07-14, 03:29 »

Terror Billy.
Logged


I fly into the night, on wings of fire burning bright...
Phoenix
Bird of Fire
 

Team Member
Elite (7.5k+)
*********
Posts: 8805

WWW
« Reply #19 on: 2020-07-14, 03:42 »

Also...
Pinkie Demon
Logged


I fly into the night, on wings of fire burning bright...
Pages: [1] 2
  Print  
 
Jump to: